4 Reasons You're Not a Good Communicator

Have you ever been frustrated by a service provider? Did things fall between the cracks?

Think of your annual physical exam or filing your annual tax return. You think you’ve communicated yet when you get your paperwork you realize they didn’t understand you. Or, you didn’t communicate clearly and you’ve lost time. Why does communication fall through the cracks? There are at least four reasons:

Poor Communication

  1. Assumptions. The challenge we all have when we’re experienced and knowledgeable is we think people understand what we’re talking about. When you begin a presentation, especially with someone new, realize that they don’t understand what is second nature to you. Effective presenters define terms and speak simply. They  provide an agenda or roadmap for the listener.

  2. Lack of Curiosity. Related to making assumptions is the absence of questions. When you lack curiosity you miss important information. Checking off items on your list will not capture everything you need to know about the listener. The quality of the communication is directly related to the quality of the questions. Begin with open-ended, broad questions such as “Tell me about your goals… background… finances”…etc. Then ask closed-ended questions when you want specific answers or a yes or no. Most importantly, don’t accept the first answer. Probe by asking follow-up questions to uncover critical details. Ask 5 WHY questions and 7 SO WHAT questions to uncover issues and learn what the listener really values.

  3. Lack of a Visual. The more senses you engage, the stronger the communication. Most people are not good listeners. It helps to have a visual even if it’s writing on a napkin. Attention spans wane when a presenter speaks for a period of time.  A visual breaks up the presentation and can become an important anchor  point you can go back and reference.  This is one of the challenges of phone conversations. Imagine a service provider giving you instructions on paperwork and you can’t see it. Send documents in advance so you can both reference them simultaneously. Or lead them in a visual exercise. For example, ask them to get a piece of paper and instruct them to create a diagram.

    4. No Follow Up. Don’t fall victim to the process of One and Done. People may think they understand only to leave your office and not be able to complete an assignment. Without follow-up, deadlines are missed, information is lost, and mistakes are made. And that’s how things fall through the cracks. Schedule a date to touch base by phone or virtually. As the saying goes, The Fortune is in the Follow up.