When I was first starting out I took a class in group dynamics. At the time I was a speech pathologist and trainer and I thought that recognizing group dynamics would enable me to be more effective with clients. I was caught by surprise when the leader told me the group didn’t know who I was. I always thought I was an honest, authentic person. Nobody would describe me as phony. But years later I’ve come to understand what that leader meant.
I wasn’t sharing anything personal. They knew I was competent, professional, and pleasant. But so are a lot of people. They wanted to know me… And there wasn’t anything they could personally relate to.
Fast forward to today. the word AUTHENTICITY gets bandied around in conversations about public speaking. It’s a valued trait for public speakers.
It’s certainly one of the characteristics that defines executive presence. According to the Bates EXPI model, authenticity is one of the top character traits. Hewlett Consulting rates authenticity as a top executive communication skill.
But what exactly is authenticity? What does it mean to be real?
The first step is to know your values. Know what you stand for so you can be true to your core.
Authenticity also involves vulnerability or self-disclosure. Instead of presenting a buttoned-up image of yourself, share your struggles. When my husband was looking for a kidney donor during the pandemic, I talked about it on Facebook and posted progress reports. We asked for help. It was amazing to see that the longest threads in my Facebook feed were always when I spoke about my husband’s quest to find a kidney. It was because people could relate to the journey and they wanted to be part of something bigger than themselves. So share your journey, struggles and triumphs.
To be authentic, talk from the heart. Many good public speakers are effective at delivering a message. They have well-timed pauses, stay on message, and demonstrate all the mechanics of excellent public speaking. But what’s missing is the feeling. They sound scripted. Recently, I coached a man on his presentation who was running for local politics. His campaign advisors had created a script and wanted him to deliver it at the podium. He couldn’t. He was stumbling and struggling and not connecting at all with the audience. I took the script away from him and told him to speak from the heart. He really cared about the town and had good ideas. Once he talked from the heart his personality came through and he lit up the room. The audience doesn’t want to hear a talking head. They want to feel.
Finally, an authentic public speaker knows how to engage and connect with the audience. When I was a novice corporate trainer, my manager gave me some sound advice. I had come from a company that trained us to be polished, professional and to memorize a script. Every trainer was expected to follow the script and stay on time. In my new job, I brought that same approach. My new manager told me that the audience couldn’t relate to perfect posture and exacting gestures especially when they were seated. I looked confident but I wasn’t engaging them. She advised me to lean on my chair and to look a little more casual. I soon learned the body language of facilitation and how to engage the group by meeting them where they were. You’ll be more authentic when you enter the world of your audience.
Authenticity happens when your words, voice, and behavior match who you really are. So show up and be you!
To learn how to Speak Confidently and Effectively check out my LinkedIn learning course. It ranked on the Top 20 Most Popular courses for 2 years.
To learn techniques to overcome fear of speaking, read chapter 3 of Knockout Presentations.
To work with me contact DiResta Communications, Inc.