How to Alienate Your Audience Every Time

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow recently enraged a lot of Americans when she discussed her preference for living in Britain. She was quoted in a Spanish newspaper as saying that the British are more intelligent and interesting than Americans. She explained that Americans talk about what they do for a living and are concerned with money. She found British conversations more "civilized."

While she is entitled to her opinions her choice of words sounded like a put down rather than a preference. Think about what people have said during acceptance awards- "I'd like to thank all the little people." Politicans have lost their positions because of how they expressed their point of view in public. So how can you express an opinion without insulting the audience? Ms. Paltrow could have expressed her delight living in England while also mentioning the cultural differences.
For example, "In adjusting to the British culture, the conversations tend to be different. Americans get down to business more quickly with an emphasis on their professions. In England, the conversation tends to be more personal and social."

The above statement is more of an observation than a judgement. When using the words
"more," "less," or "civilized," you begin to make a judgement. When you compare intelligence you are also walking on thin ice. Words are powerful.
So keep your comments neutral. Voice observations, not judgements.
In public speaking it's both WHAT you say and HOW you say it.

John Kerry's Calamity-A Failure to Communicate

Words are powerful. John Kerry learned that lesson when his comments were plastered all over the news.
What was his intention? Only he knows. But the meaning of communication is not the intention. It's the effect.
And in this case the effect was negative.

Here is what Kerry said during his speech,"Education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart,you do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq."

He later said he would not apologize because it was an attack on Bush and not on the soldiers. When you read the words it sounds like he's denigrating those serving in Iraq. Today there is no draft and the soldiers serving in Iraq volunteered for service. So the public heard it as an attack on the intelligence of the armed forces. Kerry's rebuttal was that his joke was misunderstood.

There are two public speaking principles that were violated here.

First, don't tell jokes. In my book, Knockout Presentations, I dispell the myth that you should tell a joke during a speech. This only works if you're a comedian. For most of us the joke bombs and we go down with it.

Secondly,do your homework. It appeared that Kerry hadn't read or practiced this comment. To deliver a line effectively it must be practiced out loud and timed. When it comes to public speaking, don't wing it. Know your message points and practice the delivery and timing.

Words can leave lasting scars. To recover, the quickest path to healing is to take responsibility and do it quickly. Kerry should have apologized immediately in order to secure his political position and to make the problem go away. The longer the speaker delays taking responsibility the more you can be sure of a crisis in communication.

Remember: The meaning of the communication is the effect and not the intention. Don't let the need to be right make you wrong.

To read Knockout Presentations visit www.amazon.com/Knockout-Presentations-Deliver-Message-Pizzazz/dp/1886284253/sr=8-1/qid=1162578002/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-6618831-0156137?ie=UTF8&s;=books

The Eyes Have It

Darting or downcast eyes suggest nervousness or evasiveness. To shine in any media interview or presentation you must master eye contact. We connect through the eyes and eye contact is a powerful way to create a relationship with the audience.

For a satellite broadcast look directly into the camera. Steady your gaze. Excessive blinking will make you look nervous.

For all other media interviews look at the host and let the camera person worry about the angles.

When speaking on a panel, look out at the audience rather than the speaker. You'll want to identify body language signals before it's your turn to speak.

When speaking to a live audience break down the large group into sections with your eyes. Than speak directly to one person at a time in each section. That will create a relationship with your audience, you'll look focused and confident to the group, and you'll start to lose your nervousness when you talk to only one person at a time.
For more speaking tips visit www.diresta.com

It's All in the Hands

Your presentation doesn't begin with your opening remarks. It begins with your handshake. The handshake can be the basis for getting a job or making a sale. How you shake hands says something about you.
The ideal handshake is a firm clasp with the thumbs meeting web to web. It's the same for men and women. The handshake is definitely an equal opportunity communication. However, there are some aberrations or dysfunctional handshakes.
Bone Crusher
The vice grip or bone crusher grabs your hand with so much pressure your fingers hurt-especially if you're wearing a ring. This is often a sign of dominance and aggression.
Jelly Fish
The limp handshake can be anything from a full handshake without any pressure to a three finger contact. Sometimes the palm is clammy as well. This signals weakness and lack of confidence. When I worked on Wall Street the manager of a trading desk told me he never hired a man with a weak handshake.
The Shoulder Grab
The person shakes your right hand and with the left hand either touches the shoulder or forearm. This is a gesture of familiarity and should not be used in business unless it's between friends.
The Non-Shaker
A person who avoids a handshake will not extend a hand or will withdraw it quickly.
People who recoil from shaking hands often fear germs. This lack of social contact communicates coldness and makes the person less attractive.

Your handshake is your first impression. Make it a positive presentation.

For more articles and resources on presenting yourself visit www.diresta.com

Win or Lose: It' s How You SAY the Game

Tennis star, Andre Agassi just played his last game. He lost his last match but still went out a winner. Overcome wth emotion, he blew kisses to the crowd and gave his parting speech:

"The scoreboard said I lost today but what the scoreboard doesn't say is what I found. Over the last 21 years, I have found loyalty, inspiration. You have willed me to succeed, sometimes even in my lowest moments. You have given me your shoulders to stand on to reach for my dreams...I will take you and the memory of you with me for the rest of my life. Thank you."

When giving a concession speech,be gracious. Thank the people who supported you, say something nice about the winner, remember the high points, and walk out with your head held high. Anyone can give a good speech when they win. But it takes courage, class, and style to give a good concession speech. Whether in sports, politics, or business, when you give a good presentation you'll always be remembered as a winner.

For more speaking tips, sign up for my FREE newsletter The Science of Speaking. http://www.diresta.com

The Power is in Being Personal.

The Bush Katrina Speech

On August 29th President and Mrs. Bush marked the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina by giving a speech.
Both Laura and George Bush have improved in their rhetorical skills since they took office in 2000. While Laura Bush delivered her speech effectively, she was still reading from a manuscript.

President Bush, on the other hand, added a personal quality to his speech. At key moments he paused to look out at the audience. He spoke from heart when he lamented the "failure of government at all levels."

Bush adopted a conversational tone as he used his own words to explain that part of rebuilding the city of New Orleans requires moving tons of debris.
At one point in the speech he made his typical verbal faux pas of tripping over his words. His response was to roll his eyes, smile, and correct himself. This personal nonverbal reaction let the audience know he was aware of his mistake. His expression seemed to say "Here I go again." He was able to laugh at himself.

Being personal allows the speaker to go off message and to react to the moment. The impact is a more authentic person-someone who is just like us.

Your Presentation is Your Brand-Don't Get Rear Ended

I was listening to a radio traffic update on the Imus show this morning. The reporter signed off as Rear End Rhonda. What does that moniker have to do with traffic reporting? I don't know. I do know that Imus doesn't like it and has no interaction with her. A key question is how do you or your company want to be remembered? According to wikipedia (the online encyclopedia) the definition of a brand is "the sum total of a company's value proposition."

It seems that Rear End is a strange value proposition. It may be remembered but it's not consistent with her career position and in the long term will probably not yield the desired result.

Words are powerful. Words can change our lives.
You are your company. And your presentation is your brand. Is your brand consistent with the image you want to portray?

What's Your Intention?

Whether you're giving a formal presentation, speaking at a meeting or negotiating a contract, a successful outcome begins with a powerful intention. Too many speakers prepare their content but don't prepare their minds. What is it that you REALLY want?
Do you want the respect of your peers? Agreement from the client?
The subconscious mind is like an autoresponder. It doesn't judge, it doesn't make decisions,and it takes you literally. It obeys your command. It's the conscious mind that has the power to decide.

When you continue to get undesired responses, your subconscious mind is simply acting upon old programming. You can practice over and over again saying the words out loud. But if you don't begin with an intention and believe you can achieve it, you're simply a talking head.

So change the belief.
Create a clear intention with your conscious mind. Write your intention down. Focus on it until it is crytal clear. Intentions that are clear and specific will have a greater opportunity to manifest.

The Power of Stories

To bring your busiess presentation to life, tell a story. Stories provide dramatic effect, engage the listner, underscore a point, motivate, reduce defensiveness, and aid retention. In other words, stories make you and the message memorable. Read Kotter's article The Power of Stories. I

www.forbes.com/2006/04/12/power-of-stories-oped-cx_jk_0412kotter.html

Selling Soap to Italian Women-A Lesson in Business Presentations

The Wall Street Journal reported that Italian women spend an average of 22 hours cleaning their homes. They buy more cleaning supplies than women from other countries. So they'd be a perfect market for U.S. time-saving cleaners and products, right? That's what Proctor and Gamble thought until they saw their sales plummet. They learned that Italian women don't value mops and cleaners that save time. They value strong detergents that cut grease-not quick spray bottles. They don't value time; they value toughness.

P&G; presented the product without knowing the buyer's criteria. How often do we slap together a presentation based on what we value instead of what the audience values? When a car dealer sells a car to a man he usually talks about engines and horsepower. When he sells to a woman he talks about color and interior. This is an assumption and not based on the buyer's criteria. When a manager motivates with money and an employee values time off, she is speaking from her values and not from the employee's values.

The secret to successful presentations is to know what the audience wants and to give it to them.

Like, Um, You Know

It's amazing how many business people lose credibility by the way they speak! Even people in leadership positions undermine themselves with weak language and non-words (um, you know, basically.) Young professional women in their 20s and 30s can sound like Valley Girls in the office. I continue to get calls from companies asking me to help their people develop executive presence. Even parents are emailing me about their child's Valley Girl talk.
Catch my interview in this month's Fast Company magazine to learn more:

www.fastcompany.com/magazine/105/playbook-ahead.html