They're Just Not That Into You

I've coached a lot of speakers and I've seen more speakers than I can count. And I've discovered that there is more to great speaking than excellent platform skills. We've all seen speakers who have perfect timing, never say um, have a well organized speech and exude confidence on stage. Yet, there's something the audience doesn't like about them. It could be air of arrogance, they may appear slick, or their words sound pretentious. If the audience can't connect they don't like the speaker. After working with so many clients and speaking to numerous groups I started to realize that people's success depended on how well they were liked. According to a Yale University study, people gain success not by aggression but by being nice. Being respected is good; being liked is even better. Juries award higher compensation to people they like. The most likable candidate usually wins an election. During the Democratic primary,Hillary Clinton's likability surfaced as an issue. Obama was perceived as more likable and won. During tough economic times, when a manager has to choose who gets a pink slip it won't be the the employee who is most liked. Employers hire people they like, clients do business with people they like, and sometimes likable students may even get a higher grade. So, if you want your message to be heard, if you want to influence, you've got to be liked.

What is likability? Find out in this video.