Stop Saying Um in 6 Steps

Clients ask me all the time, “How do I get rid of my ums? Why do they care? We all use a few ums. I certainly do. But when you consistently say um and ah it can have negative effects.

I heard an Ivy League professor give a lecture online. It was an interesting topic except that he continually punctuated his talk with um. I lost interest.

Here’s the negative impact of using too many ums.

Loss of credibility. The audience expects a credentialed speaker to be effective.  Too many ums can make a seasoned speaker sound like an amateur.

Loss of attention. People will listen for just so long before they get bored and tune out.

Loss of message. If the audience checks out mentally, your message doesn’t get through. They lose information and you lose influence.

The good news is you can change all that. You’re not sentenced to a life of vocal tics. Here is a roadmap for eliminating ums.

Awareness. Why do people keep repeating the same habits and patterns? Because they lack self awareness. Change happens once people hear themselves. When I echo back a non-word or filler, clients will ask “Did I just say um?” They don’t hear it!!! Record yourself and tally the number of ums in your 1 to 3 minute talk. Now you have a baseline.

Negative practice. Next, choose a topic and deliberately say a lot of ums. Why? The natural inclination is to avoid saying um and that creates more hesitations, stops and starts, and nervousness. Don’t resist. Say as many ums as you can.

Look for patterns.  Identify the types of fillers or nonwords you use. Is it  um, ah, you know, okay like, basically? Some people start every sentence with um. If that’s you, cancel the sentence. Stop, count to three and say it again without an um. Do you say um right before a difficult word? If that’s your pattern, during your rehearsal, substitute a simpler word

Master the pause. Practice the same topic but this time, stop and pause. Why is so hard to pause? Most people are afraid of silence. When you finish a sentence come to a complete stop and don’t say anything. Allow for a silence. Exaggerate the silence. It takes practice to tolerate silence. Don’t speak until you can start the next sentence without saying um. Remember, the power is in the pause.

Rehearse. After working with thousands of presenters, I’ve seen a decrease in ums after rehearsals. The more you practice and the more you know your message, the more fluent you’ll become.

Accountability. Changing behavior requires continual practice and monitoring. Find an accountability partner or hire a coach. They can tally the number of ums during your meetings and presentations.  Instead of guessing you’ll have real time data.

Slipping up with an occasional filler or nonword in your presentations will barely be noticeable. But if your audience starts counting them, that’s an issue. Practice these 6 steps and you’ll be fluent in no time. For more tips, read Knockout Presentations.

My presentations, training and coaching are available virtually. It’s easy to find me to discuss your needs. Email diane@diresta.com.   DM me at twitter @speakingpro. Or call: 917 803-8663

Q&A: How to Face a Firing Squad without Being Shot

My clients often fear the Question and Answer session. They feel anxious and unprepared because they don’t know what will be asked. They know their content but don’t know how to organize it in the moment. For some public speakers a Q&A session is akin to facing a firing squad.

Recently, I saw a news clip of a politician being grilled by a reporter. It was obvious that the agenda was to make him look bad. The reporter cited a litany of complaints and asked why these issues were not resolved. The politician jumped in and proceeded to answer the question. The reporter interrupted him and accused him of not letting her finish. He responded with “You asked me Why. I’m answering your question.”

She cut him off and continued to highlight issues and shortcomings.

The politician interjected, “Are you asking a question or giving a speech?” (He knew her agenda was to highlight the negative). He finished by explaining that he delegated the process to the experts who were better equipped to make decisions for their industry than the government.

He never lost control because he practiced positive public speaking principles for handling difficult audiences.

1. He listened but didn’t let the questioner ramble. He cut in and began to answer. Another alternative to interrupting is to say “What is the question?”

2. When she continued to dominate the platform with a soliloquy he challenged her. When a questioner won’t get to the point, the moderator or speaker can say, “Please be brief.” Or summarize, “What I understand your question to be is… “ and then answer the question.

3. He gave a clear explanation without apology or emotion. He confidently held his ground. It’s not effective to get angry with a questioner.

   Not all questioners are hostile or have an underlying agenda. Some audience members simply have trouble getting to the point. So help them out and stay calm, cool, and collected.

   The Q&A session is a forum for you to underscore your points, clarify your message, and provide information to the audience.

   The next time you’re on the firing line use these tips to ricochet those heat seeking questions and emerge unsinged.

Communication and Public speaking is a vital component of executive presence. Diane DiResta coaches executives to be influential public speakers. Companies hire Diane to deliver keynote speeches, seminars and workshops to train their teams in effective communication and leadership skills. Contact Diane

Talk to the Teleprompter

Do you have trouble staying on message? Do you lose your train-of-thought? Do you remember an important point after your presentation is over? No worries. It’s the teleprompter to the rescue.

Teleprompters are no longer just for broadcasters. Today’s presenters need broadcasting skills and there are times when a teleprompter will serve you well. You can download teleprompter apps for your phone and computer that will enable you to write your presentation and read it while filming a video.

Video presentations are more important than ever-especially for interviews. Imagine how you’ll stand out on linkedin and other social media platforms when you share your expertise in a short video. Whether you’re an entrepreneur or work for a company, your ability to present yourself is essential to your success. You can create a video to build your brand, gain visibility, present an idea, pitch yourself as the ideal job candidate, or thank the interviewer afterwards.

Using a teleprompter will enable you to look your best and impress the audience. So here are a few tips when using a teleprompter.

Write for the ear, not for the eye. Use natural everyday language so that you sound like yourself. For example, use contractions to sound less formal. Use shorter, action words. Rehearse out loud. Does it sound like a speech or does it sound like you?

Format your script. Use bolding, highlighting, underlining, and capitals to emphasize certain words or phrases. Use a forward slash / to indicate a pause, and a double slash // to indicate a longer pause. Use a font that’s easy to see but not so large that it takes up the whole screen. Write out names or difficult words phonetically.

Frame yourself. Choose a simple, clean background that doesn’t compete with you and your message. Choose a head shot or waist shot to create more intimacy. A full body shot will look more formal and create more distance between you and your audience. Also, the words may be harder to read at a distance.

Master eye contact. The goal is to see the script but to appear as if you’re looking at the audience. This takes practice. Don’t move your eyes from left to right or you’ll look like you’re reading. Test your eye contact by doing several takes. Usually, looking at the top line will work. You’ll need to experiment to look natural. It shouldn’t be obvious that you’re using a teleprompter.

Adjust the speed. If the words fly by too fast, you’ll speed up and sound nervous. If the words scroll one at a time you’ll sound boringly slow. The average speaking rate is 150 words per minute. You’ll want to test the right speaking rate and also vary your intonation. The speed should allow enough time to pause. Marking up the script will help add color and energy to the voice.

Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse. It takes a lot of preparation and practice to master the teleprompter. When you do, you’ll sound natural without missing a beat.

Lessons from the Debates for Public Speakers

Debates are not just for politicians. Debates happen in meetings, in schools, and in personal settings when sparring with a friend. There are techniques from debates that apply to win others to a different point of view. While everyday situations don’t follow formal debate rules, we can take a lesson from watching debates.

Staging is important. The decision to stand or sit can have an impact on the process. Standing will definitely increase energy; however a seated position will create a more intimate feeling and will work to control more volatile personalities. In a meeting or panel discussion, be intentional about seating order.

Show some passion. How you speak is as important as what you say. The best idea won’t land unless it’s spoken with conviction. Soft spoken people need to push their energy.

Mind your facial expressions. In a contentious debate, it’s common for the opponents to smirk, shake their head, or roll their eyes. On a panel, or in a meeting this is unacceptable. Be cognizant of too much smiling. Even when smiling is meant to be condescending to the person speaking, it can backfire. This is especially true for women because of a double standard. Use it sparingly. It’s better to discredit the other person with logical statements and evidence.

Respect the rules. As in a debate, meetings and panel discussions are timed. When presenters interrupt or go over their time, it’s disrespectful to the listeners. Cut off interrupters by saying, “Excuse me, I wasn’t finished.” “My time isn’t up.” “Let me finish my point.” “Please don’t interrupt.” Talking over someone to shut them down, will cause valuable ideas and information to be lost. And the listeners will feel resentful.

The moderator is EVERYTHING. A debate is only as good as the moderator. The role of the moderator is to establish rules and expectations, manage the timing, make transitions, ask thought provoking questions, keep the debate focused, and manage personalities. A debate or meeting can quickly derail if the moderator is weak. And a lackluster moderator can create a boring experience. Be sure to vet the moderator and choose the most skilled, confident and versatile person to lead the debate or meeting.

How to Rock a Virtual Panel

This month I was part of a panel entitled, Become an Author: The Time is Now. My two colleagues, Anne Akers and Sue Matthews were panelists. And I was the producer, moderator and a 3rd panelist. (Not recommended. You have to be super coordinated). Speaking on panels is an excellent opportunity to broadcast your message, build your brand, and increase your leadership and visibility. In the current digital marketplace, Virtual panel presentations are no longer optional. Leaders and public speakers must master this medium. Even seasoned panelists won’t excel online unless they learn the difference between virtual and live panels.

Roles: Every virtual panel has a producer, a moderator or Emcee, and speakers.

The producer must be experienced with the online platform of choice. This person is behind the scenes operating the controls. A producer may manage the chat function, handle technical glitches such as sound or video issues, and any other technical details that will free the moderator to conduct the panel.

The moderator makes strategic decisions before the event such as requiring audience members to wait to be invited into the meeting, choosing a backdrop, whether there will be visual aids, or if the event will be recorded. It’s even more important to cover ‘housekeeping” items in terms of how to use the technology and rules of audience participation. As in live events, the moderator keeps the meeting on point and manages the panelists. Introductions should be shorter. Two or three sentences per presenter is more effective than listening to a lengthier introduction. The major difference is the moderator needs to build in more frequent interaction.

The panelists need to keep their presentations and answers brief. A speaker who goes over the time could result in the meeting being prematurely disconnected. It’s critical to rehearse in advance and to err on the side of less information because the actual presentation will take longer with audience interaction. And if the panel finishes early , the audience will always value more time to ask questions.

Interaction: Here is where the producer and moderator can collaborate. Build in polls, make use of the chat, and encourage participation through icons-raised hand, applause, thumbs up. When the moderator is asking questions, the producer can monitor the comments in the chat room and respond individually or alert the moderator when their are questions.

Frequent interaction will engage the audience and prevent them from multitasking. A good rule of thumb is to interact with the audience when a panelist has finished a topic.

The moderator can maximize the chat by asking the audience for short responses. For example, during our publishing panel, I asked the audience if they preferred traditional or self publishing. I directed them to type a /T/ or an /S/ in the chat. It was fast and fun.

Screen presence: Color coordination is important consideration when dressing for virtual panels. Jewel colors work best on screen. We chose colors that complimented each other with royal blue, aqua, and purple. Since panelists may be dialing in from different places be sure that each panelist has an attractive background. One way to create uniformity is to agree to use the same backdrop. And when speaking as a panelist or moderator, be sure to look directly at the lens and not at the speakers.

Virtual presentations are the new normal.

What Do I Do With My Hands?

The question I hear frequently from audiences is “What do I do with my hands?” It’s amazing. We communicate daily and never think about our hands until we stand up. As soon as we become public speakers it’s as if we discover theses long appendages scraping the floor.

Body language is more than half the message so how you use your hands is important. And gestures are a vital part of the message. Consider this: Have you ever seen an enthusiastic person stand at attention as they share their exciting news? Nobody stands stiffly when they’re expressing emotion. How do you gesture in a way that’s effective yet not over the top?

Here are some of the most common mistakes people make when they gesture:

Don’t Do This

Figleaf Position. This is where you clasp your hands in front of you. It looks sedate-not powerful.

Wooden Soldier. This presenter has both hands at the sides. If you start with this position, move out of it quickly or else you’ll look stiff and unapproachable.

At Ease. Both hands are held behind the back in military fashion. If you maintain this position people will soon wonder if you have hands. Why are you hiding them?

Hands in Pockets. I don’t see this posture as often. The word must have gotten out. If you keep both hands in your pockets, you’ll lose energy and expressiveness.

The Juggler. Here is where your hands are in perpetual motion and never come to a stop. The impression is nervousness and it’s also distracting to watch.

Pointing Finger. Beware of pointing at the audience. A pointing finger can be perceived as accusatory, or chastising. Instead, use an open handed gesture to refer to an audience member. It’s warmer and more neutral.

Fidgeting. Overall fidgeting communicates nervousness. It’s your body telling you to move your hands. So stop holding back Gesture, but do so effectively.

Do This:

Above the Waist. As soon as possible, bring your hands above the waist. Hands below the waist are perceived as tentative. Your power space is between your waist and your face. Keep your gestures in this box. When Bill Clinton was running for president, he used wide, sweeping gestures that made him look untrustworthy. His coaches told him to gesture within the box. It became known as the Clinton box.

Find a Rest Position. When you start flailing and over gesticulating, it’s time to come to a stop. Find a resting position. It may be one hand on top of the over with your elbows at your waist. Think of the resting position as home base. You can continue to return to it when you’re hands are moving too much or you need to take a pause.

Hold the Ball. A powerful position is to hold your hands above the waist as if you’re holding a basketball. Steve Jobs used this gesture.

Count Off. When you have 3 or more agenda items, you can tick off the points on your fingers as if you’re going through a list.

Palms Up. To convey honesty, hold your hands waist high and turn your palms up. (Don’t shrug your shoulders or you’ll look unsure).

Palms Down. Keep your palms waist high and turn your palms down so that the tops of your hands are visible. Now make a downward movement. This conveys authority and can be good for quieting a crowd. President Obama used this gesture.

Steepling. Position your hands at waist level and bring your hands together with just the fingertips touching. This posture communicates confidence but can also convey authority. Use this gesture sparingly. It can be meant to intimidate or establish dominance.

Consider Culture. Body language has different meanings in certain cultures. For example, if you’re speaking in Brazil, do not use the A-OK hand gesture. It’s considered an obscenity. Realize that not all cultures value gesturing as much as in the U.S.  The Mediterranean and Hispanic cultures are expressive and use a lot of gestures. In Asia, Skandinavia and Germanic cultures, they use fewer hand movements.  When I was first starting out in my business, I had a sales call at the United Nations. The person interviewing me was from Germany. When I gestured her eyes would look at my hands. I’d make another gesture, and she would be riveted on my hands. Very quickly, I put my hands in my lap. For her, gesturing was a distraction.

Why Use Gestures? There is research that demonstrates the impact of gestures. Harvard Business Review interviewed Professor Josef Cornelissen of Erasmus University.

Erasmus University conducted a study whereby they asked experienced investors to watch a video of entrepreneurs pitching a medical device. They hired actors to play the entrepreneurs. The result was that the Venture Capitalists were more interested in the presenters who used gestures to explain the idea than when they used anecdotes, metaphors and other rhetoric.

This flies in the face of current emphasis on storytelling. What they researchers discovered was that gesturing made the product more concrete, helping investors to understand the product. Gesturing also conveys excitement and passion is a quality that investors value. However, too much gesturing can work against the presenter, making it look like pantomime. Use a few strategic gestures to add impact and influence to your presentations.

If gestures don’t come naturally to you. Practice some of the gestures mentioned above.

Practice but be natural. Use these tips and gesture often and you’ll win over the audience hands down.