Do you find it difficult to make eye contact? Are you frustrated when the listener doesn’t look you in the eye? Do you wish more people would turn their cameras on so you can see them on screen?
Our culture confirms the importance of eye contact.
We’ve learned that the eyes are the window to the soul.
We connect through the eyes.
Don’t trust someone if they can’t look you in the eye.
I’ve worked hard to show presenters how to make eye contact with an audience. People don’t know where to look. Others are actually uncomfortable making eye contact. You can’t make a connection if you look over someone’s head. Isn’t it rude to disengage? Well, that seems to be the common wisdom. Until now.
In a recent article by Jeff Haden for Inc, he cited research from Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences h/t to Adam Grant. It mentions that even during the most engaging conversations, eye contact ebbs and flows. They discovered that if what is said causes the other person to think, they may look away. Disengaging eye contact allows them to process the information. Visual learners may also defocus or look away so that they can visualize the message in their mind’s eye. And that’s one reason attendees may turn off their cameras during virtual meetings. It’s too much stimulation.
I still maintain that a good public speaker needs to make an eye connection. But when you’re in a conversation and the listener disengages eye contact, it may mean they’re listening and taking it all in. In other words you made them think!
If you want to be a better presenter and learn how to make eye contact in person or on the screen, contact me at www.diresta.com.