10 Steps to Confidence

Why do we spend years on developing competence when research proves that CONFIDENCE trumps COMPETENCE? Because we falsely believe that it's our smarts and not our hearts that get us to the top. So how do you learn confidence?  Here are 10 steps to confidence.

1. Clear. Get clear about who you are as a person and get clear about your presentation outcome. Clarity is the first step to confidence. Focus on your message and establish a benchmark for achieving your presentation outcome.
    
2. Other-Centered. Nervousness is self-centeredness. Turn your attention away from you and toward your audience. Ask, "How can I serve them?" "How can I make them comfortable." Do a deep dive into the minds of your listeners. When you profile your audience, you'll speak their language, create rapport, and you'll feel more prepared.
    
3. Natural. There is only one you. You have your own unique style. Don't set out to give a presentation. Be conversational and be yourself. If you're not funny, don't tell a joke. Share something personal and the audience will relate to you.
    
4. Free from Judgment. Eliminate your need for perfection and stop" shoulding" on yourself. Monitor your self-talk. When you begin the presentation, imagine success. When you finish the presentation, give yourself credit for the things you did well. Confidence develops over time and in a positive atmosphere. Mohammed Ali said "I am the greatest," before he was ever a champion
    
5. Improvise. Public speakers who are wedded to their scripts can be easily caught off guard if they lose their place or if there is a technical glitch. Learning to improvise will boost your confidence. When disaster strikes  embrace it instead of freezing in place. Prepare your recovery strategy with ad-lib lines.
    
6. Design. Confident delivery sits on well-designed structure. Confidence begins before you ever open your mouth. It starts with good organization. Good structure will keep you focused and on message, And your audience will be able to follow your points.
    
7. Enthusiastic Enthusiasm sells. When you're excited, you forget your nervousness. Speak from your passion and you'll find your energy increases. Raise your energy by doing something physical. Move around the room. Get louder. Use more gestures.Enthusiasm is contagious and your audience will be excited along with you.
    
8. Network. Do you feel like the naked speaker up there all alone? To gain confidence network before you speak. Get to the room early and practice. As people enter, greet each person with a smile and a handshake. By the time it's your turn to speak you'll be in the company of friends.
    
9. Concise. A speech can quickly unravel if the speaker gets stuck in the weeds of details. To feel confident, get to the point. Create crisp message points and build examples around each point. Instead of rolling their eyes, the audience will hang on your every word.
    
10. Engaging. It's hard to feel confident when you're a talking head. Give fewer facts and tell more stories. Why are stories so powerful? Stories draw the audience in,  break down resistance and entice them open to your message. Stories make your message memorable. And here's the bonus point.. A story has a natural sequence so you don't have to worry about losing your train of thought. Simply tell the story. Be in the story and your audience will be engaged.

Re-Launch of “Give Fear the Finger”

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE March 2016

DiResta Communications Recognizes International Women’s Day with Re-Launch of “Give Fear the Finger”

Diane DiResta, author, speaker and owner of DiResta Communications honors the 2016 theme for International Women’s Day—Gender Equality

New York City, NY:  “International Women’s Day is a time to reflect on progress made, to call for change and to celebrate acts of courage and determination by ordinary women who have played an extraordinary role in the history of their countries and communities.” The 2016 theme is “Planet 50-50 by 2030: Step It Up for Gender Equality.”

Diane DiResta, in keeping with this theme, is relaunching her latest book, Give Fear the Finger: How to Knock out Fear of Public Speaking and making it available for only $.99 for the rest of the month, starting with International Women’s Day.

Give Fear the Finger shows women (and men) how to never be nervous again. Diane teaches the reader the secrets to being confident and fearless whether speaking to one or 1000. The interactive ebook shows how to stand up to fear and command the platform. Gifted speakers are born but effective speakers are made. Speaking is the new competitive advantage and levels the playing field for women. It gives them visibility they might not access and allows them to have a platform. Speaking let women celebrate their social, economic, cultural and political achievement.

Diane DiResta, who grew up on military bases around the world, began her career as a speech pathologist and now travels internationally teaching interpersonal communications and presentation skills. She traveled to Russia to speak to women entrepreneurs and teaches public speaking in countries like Tanzania, Africa; Bermuda, Brazil, Egypt, Spain and the UK. Diane’s mission is “empowering through the spoken word.”

About Diane DiResta, CSP

Diane DiResta is the founder and CEO of DiResta Communications, Inc, a New York City-based communications skills consultancy serving business leaders who want to communicate with greater impact – whether one-to-one, in front of a crowd, or from an electronic platform. DiResta is a certified speaking professional, a designation held by 12% or professional speakers nationwide. She's also the author of the ebook Give Fear the Finger: How to Knock Out Fear of Public

Speaking and Knockout Presentations, an Amazon.com best seller and widely used text in College business communication courses, entrepreneurship, and more. Celebrated for her inspirational message and inviting presentation style, Diane draws from her knowledge and expertise to engage and motivate her audiences to become the change agents in their own lives and businesses.

For additional information on Diane visit her website - http://diresta.com

To order a copy of Give Fear the Finger for $.99 (beginning Tuesday, March 8) - http://amzn.to/1Y3Bo6k

To schedule an in interview with Diane, contact her publicist, Sandy Lawrence

sandy@perceptivepublicrelations.com

281-989-8892 (Cell)

Is Amy Cuddy's Wonder Woman Pose A Fraud?

My colleague TJ Walker challenged the validity of Harvard professor, Amy Cuddy's power pose. Amy Cuddy has one of the most popular youtube videos on body language. She advises people to adopt the Wonder Woman pose (hands on hips) to feel powerful when speaking in public. In TJ's twitter post today, he disputes this claim and calls it a fraud. Here's my opinion. The power pose was recommended to assuage public speaking fear. It's based on neuroscience research and when this pose is held for 2 minutes, there is an increase in testosterone. Higher levels of the hormone, testosterone, are found in those who are risk takers.

What was novel was that there was Harvard research backing up her claims. Do I think she's a fraud? No. Unless the research is flawed, it's helpful to have a technique to increase confidence. And there is a body language of confidence. The mind-body connection is widely accepted.

However, as an executive speech coach who works with women leaders and male executives, I don't claim that this one pose is a panacea for public speaking fear, nor does it make you a knockout presenter. TJ makes several good points. Amy Cuddy had a compelling story, a strong structure to her speech, and good visuals. I always tell my clients that great delivery sits on great structure. Your presentation delivery is only as good as your organization. Public speaking success is 90% preparation and 10% delivery.

A client recently hired me for four hours to work on a 15 minute high stakes presentation. That did not include the time she spent with the graphic designer.

So to feel confident, the first step is preparation, planning, and a good, strong message. Presenters need to master their minds as well as their skill set. Does it help to use the power pose? Probably. I teach it to audiences. It makes them feel powerful. But it's not the whole story. There are other physical skills I give them. But I do believe that the mind affects the body and the body affects the mind.

So as long as presenters prepare and practice their message, why not strike a pose and feel powerful?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ks-_Mh1QhMc

Stay on Message Without Being Scripted

In a Republican debate, Senator Marco Rubio had emerged as a great orator and touted his third place standing as a win. There was a lot of buzz about Rubio and he was riding high despite being number three. So it was no surprise that he walked into the next debate confident and expecting more of the same. And then it happened. Governor Chris Christie hammered him. Christie came down hard on Rubio for reciting his message point for a third time and accused him of being scripted. It didn't go well for Rubio and Christie won that round.

How can the skill of staying focused and on message be to the detriment of a public speaker? As a speaking strategist and media trainer, I advise my clients to know their message and to stay on message. This is especially important in a media interview. A skilled media guest will lead with key messages and weave them throughout the interview.

The red flag is when the presenter doesn't answer the question and defaults to a message that doesn't follow the line of questioning. What should Rubio have done? Answer the question to the best of his ability without repeating the same message point again.

Most of us won't be running for office or even presenting in a formal debate. But we will need to persuade, convince, and inform our stakeholders. I advise audiences and clients to familiarize, don't memorize. When a public speaker repeats the same points too close together and uses the exact same words, that's when authenticity is lost. That sounds scripted.

The first mistake is reading a manuscript word-for-word. It takes a special skill and much practice to deliver the words so it doesn't sound like you're reading text. Some scientific lecturers stand and read their research. I told them, "I can read as well as you." Why would anybody want to listen to the reading of a research paper?

The second mistake is memorizing word-for-word. Even though the presenter is not reading, it's obvious the message is not natural.

When I first started out in the speaking business, I worked for a seminar company. At the end of every seminar my manager and I would read the reviews. To my surprise, someone wrote, "Diane, though, helpful, sounded canned."  Yikes! Put a stake in my heart. But I realized that I had memorized the script they gave me and I sounded like a talking head. With practice, I learned how to sound conversational and make the content natural.

Audiences are more sophisticated than ever. They want to hear a subject matter expert and not a presenter giving a book report. They want to know you're authentic. You achieve that by preparing your message, practicing your message, and listening for when to divert from the message. It's in listening that we become truly authentic.

And the Best Speaker Is....

Speaking is a leadership skill. Period. It's difficult to lead if you can't convey a clear, compelling message that inspires and moves people to action. Last night the candidates eagerly awaited the results of the Iowa Caucus. It was a tight race with Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders almost tied. But the real winner was the orator of the night-Marco Rubio.

While Ted Cruz came in first, his victory speech was too long, too analytical, and not inspiring. I kept changing the station in search of commentator's reviews. Each time I toggled back, there was Ted, still droning on. This was a lost opportunity to inspire and build excitement for the next race. I didn't remember much of his speech.

Donald Trump came in a close second. The usually pompous, bombastic Trump took it down a notch and gave a gracious concession speech. He thanked and acknowledged the people of Iowa and congratulated Ted Cruz. This was a different Donald Trump and he won points in building trust with his followers. He kept his remarks brief and didn't make excuses. This was a model for losing gracefully and yet not giving up. In keeping with his entrepreneurial personality, he cut his losses quickly and moved on to the next phase.

The real stand-out was Marco Rubio who was neck-in-neck with Mr. Trump. While his speech was well-prepared, his words and delivery were passionate and heartfelt. He stayed on message with his immigrant story, his family values, and the need to conquer the competing party. We could relate to his classic hero's journey. " This is the moment they said would never happen. For months they told us we had no chance. They said I had to wait my  turn". . Although his speech was criticized for sounding much like Obama's speech back in 2012, he left his constituents inspired, exhilarated, and confident in his leadership. Rubio turned a third place result into a victory speech.

On the Democratic side, Hillary Clinton was at her best. Her fire was not only in her belly but on display in her eyes. She also gave a victory speech even though the results were too close to call. Mrs. Clinton connected with her audience and carried her enthusiasm with her as she exited the stage.

Bernie Sanders, although older than Clinton, communicates energy. He, too, was impassioned in his delivery. The young people not only fed off his message of free college and taxing Wall Street, but his energy and strong conviction connected with this audience. He regarded the evening as a tie with Clinton and expressed confidence in winning New Hampshire. Energy sells.

Will the best speaker win? Not necessarily.There's more to winning a political race than public speaking. But excellent presentation skills will elevate a candidate's leadership, enhance the brand, inspire trust and confidence. Words well written and delivered with absolute conviction and passion will always linger in the hearts and minds of the listeners.

When the Previous Speaker Steps on your Lines

It's a public speaker's worst nightmare. You spent hours crafting and preparing your message. You targeted the message to the right audience. You're  waiting in the wings as you listen to the speaker right before you. And then it happens. The presenter says in the opening what you were going to say. And that's followed up with a similar statistic that you planned to cite. What's a presenter supposed to do?

This happened to a friend of mine a few years ago. He was speaking at a conference. His presentation was scheduled for day two. He arrived the day before and decided in sit in and listen to some of the presentations. It was a good thing he did! To his amazement, one of the early speakers started speaking about the same sports hero that my friend planned to talk about. And the quotes and statistics were similar. He  panicked as he felt all his hard work going down the drain.

Fortunately,time was on his side. He left the meeting, rushed back to his room and started rewriting his speech. The presentation was a success but not without a lot of angst. He learned two important lessons:

Arrive at the conference early and listen to the other speeches. Tell your own stories. Nobody can duplicate what is unique to you.

A similar experience happened to me. I was invited along with two other women to give a 5 minute presentation for a fundraiser. The first woman was the founder of the charity and her talk clearly didn't compete with mine. The second speaker was from the medical field so I didn't expect there would be any overlap. Was I wrong!

As she started talking about her topic, she mentioned the same fact I had planned to cite. And then she followed up with a statistic that was similar to mine. I kept a poker face but inside my jaw was dropping. My mind was racing. It was too late to change my opening so instead of resisting it I included it. I stepped up to the platform and led with my original opening line. Then I said, "As the first speaker said, it's important to ...." It worked. An audience needs to hear a message more than once so I reiterated the value of what she said as I transitioned to my prepared tips.

My learning? If two speakers are presenting on the same topic but from different disciplines, it's important to talk to each other. If a scientist and artist are talking about communication, their perspectives may be different. But it doesn't mean they won't come up with a similar quote, anecdote, or metaphor.

At some point, a presenter may unintentionally step on your lines It could be a co-worker at a meeting, or during a major presentation. To prevent someone from stepping on your lines,

• Arrive early to the meeting and listen to the presenters on the agenda.
• Tell your own stories.Nobody has your personal experience.
• When speaking on the same topic, call the other presenters to ensure there is little overlap.
• If somebody does use your line, either delete it or include it by crediting the other speaker.

Use these tips and you'll be able to step up instead of being stepped on.

What's Your Presentation Worth?

It doesn't matter whether it's a raise, a promotion, or a large capital expenditure. Public speaking pays. Are you losing money every time you speak? Do you know why? You can be dressed to the nines, but a Brooks Brothers suit won't help if your presentation doesn't match your million dollar look. I remember the first time I met Cathy (not her real name). Her manager, a Vice-President, called me in to coach her. Cathy was having difficulty getting promoted.

When I met Cathy, I was surprised. She could have been on the cover of Forbes magazine. Cathy exuded executive presence visually. The challenge was when she presented her ideas to senior management, she immediately lost credibility. By not presenting a strong recommendation, and using uptalk and wimpy words, Cathy's value was diminished. As a result of my coaching, she learned to speak powerfully and was promoted to VP. Now that's a return on investment.

Another client of mine was a CEO of a multi national healthcare company. His challenge was to convince management to invest in a  $300 million facility in Europe. It would take 5 years from beginning construction to licensed facility. Clinical trials for a vaccine were 3 years away. This was an investment with high risk. He didn't even know if the vaccine would work. The CEO's presentation had to be clear, understandable, and effective in persuading management that the risk was worth it. The CEO got the funding. The facility was built. The product sold over $1 billion per year.

He said, “Without that presentation and convincing the executive committee to invest, we wouldn’t have the product.” That's MAJOR ROI!

Speaking leads to influence and influence leads to success. It's about how you articulate your value. How much money is left on the table due to a weak presentation?  A family member worked for a doctor's office handling insurance claims. She wanted a raise but wasn't having success. She realized the claims were being denied because they contained the wrong codes.

So she diligently nudged the doctors to apply the correct codes and helped them to do just that. The result was that fewer claims were being rejected. I howled, "You mean to tell me they are collecting on more claims because of you? You're directly impacting their bottom line! You're increasing their cash flow! Tell them that." She did, and she got her raise. Again, there is an ROI from effective presentations.

It doesn't matter whether you seek a raise, a promotion, or approval on a large capital expenditure: public speaking pays. The payoffs for you, the speaker, are increasing sales, earning a raise, getting a promotion, receiving investor capital, and more. And when you have excellent presentation skills you may even be paid to speak. Ka Ching Ka Ching.

Are you in the middle of a merger? Are you launching a new product? Do you have to give a presentation to your sales force?  You won't have a second chance. When your presentation is make or break, contact DiResta Communications, Inc.

Success Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry

Love Story was a popular move in 1970. It starred Ryan O'Neill and Ali McGraw. In one scene they have a fight and go their separate ways. O'Neill finds McGraw after he cools off and apologizes for the fight. She stops him and says through her tears, "Love means never having to say you're sorry." I don't know if most people in conflict would agree with that. What people may agree with is the overuse of the word "Sorry" in the workplace. This is especially prevalent among women. When I speak to organizations about executive presence and confidence, I advise women to avoid weak speak or what I call wimpy words. Certain modifiers such as "only," or "just" weaken conviction. That is, the speaker negates everything that follows the words "only" or "just". For example, "This is just an idea," is less powerful than saying "This is an idea."

Related to these two modifiers is the word "sorry". To use the word "sorry" in emails and spoken language is to the detriment of women. An apologetic communication style sabotages leadership and authority. Leaders are perceived as decisive and willing to take a risk. Saying "sorry' too frequently is a way to avoid taking a stand and not be taken seriously.

The word "sorry" is also used as a substitute for "excuse me". Instead of asking the speaker to clarify or repeat, some women will say "Sorry?" rather than use the more effective phrase, "Excuse me?".

There's an app for that

How can women rid this undermining word from their vocabulary? The first step is awareness. Technology to the rescue! Now there is an app that identifies wimpy words when they are used in emails.

The Just Not Sorry extension for Chrome is downloadable at the Chrome app store. The app identifies wimpy words in Gmail by underlining them in red and providing explanations of how the word weakens the message in the email. Whether the reason for using wimpy words is a subconscious lack of confidence or simply a bad habit, this tool can create conscious awareness for women so that they can become more successful leaders and communicators.

After all, success means never having to say you're sorry.

Public Speaking Lessons from The Big Short

What's the one word that's the kiss of death for most presentations? No, it's not BORING. Boring is the outcome. What makes a presentation boring?

The word is ... COMPLEXITY. An audience often dreads having to listen to  technical or financial topics because they  expect to be confused and bored. The technical speaker does have a bigger challenge than most public speakers because of the complex nature of their information.

How does a public speaker use the  KISS formula (keep it short and simple) for technical or financial topics? Let's look to Hollywood to find the answer.

I recently saw the movie The Big Short which is about the U.S. housing crisis that caused the financial collapse of 2008.  Imagine having to explain the financial products and intricacies of mortgages to the average person..How exciting is that?  Yet the movie did a masterful job of simplifying the message, keeping it interesting, and making it stick.

There were at least four presentation techniques that the movie used to explain a complicated topic in a manner that anyone could understand

Set the Stage: Introduce the Problem and Characters The movie began by identifying the origin of the problem long before there was a financial crisis by introducing the man who created Mortgaged Backed Securities. Ask yourself as a a technical speaker, Am I able to introduce the problem and the players in a couple of simple sentences at the beginning of the presentation?

Tell stories. A big mistake in technical public speaking  is to spout a lot of data and hard facts. In the film, the audience learned how events unfolded by watching a well told story.Every story has a beginning, middle, and end. Good stories are visual. The speaker creates word pictures that create an experience for the listeners. As a technical speaker, do you allow the audience to learn the sequence of events by telling the story?

Use analogies.The best way to simplify a complex subject is to use metaphors and analogies.The filmmaker created a clever clip of the chef, Anthony Bordain who was cooking a fish stew. He likened Mortgage Backed Securities to having three day old fish.

You can no longer sell the fish because it's not fresh. But you don't want to throw it away and lose money. So you chop it up and add it to the seafood stew. You now have a new product you can sell. Just like the fish stew, the Mortgage Backed Security is a product that contains valued mortgages along with some subprime worthless mortgages thrown in. As a technical speaker, do you employ comparisons, analogies, and metaphors to help the audience relate the content to what they already know? Do you use video clips to demonstrate the concept?

Connect with the Audience. There's a concept in acting called the Fourth Wall. It's the imaginary wall in the front of the stage where the audience sees the action.The actors perform as if they don't see the audience.  In the film, the actors break the fourth wall. That is, they get out of character and speak directly to the camera as if they know the audience is watching. It's often done to explain what 's going on in the scene. As a technical speaker, do you TALK AT the audience or do you share a personal experience? Do you break through the fourth wall of formal speaking to show your humanity? Do you engage in self-disclosure?

What if you're not a filmmaker? Can you accomplish this level of simplicity as a technical speaker?

One of my clients said, "My topic is boring. I speak about compliance,' to which I said, "There are no boring topics-only boring speakers. In the movie The Big Short, the writers  made the housing crisis fascinating and explained financial instruments simply and clearly so that anybody could understand them.

And now technical speakers can take a lesson from their playbook. Use these four techniques to simplify complex content and engage your audience until the very end.

Cook Up a Speech Your Audience Can Chew On

How is public speaking like cooking? Imagine you walk into a diner. You open the menu and order a hamburger. Your mouth is watering for that juicy burger. The aroma of sizzling beef wafts toward you as the waiter brings it to your table.

The server places the dish in front of you and suddenly you do a double take. Sitting on top of the bun is the burger! It's messy and greasy. How are you supposed to eat that? Isn't the burger supposed to be in between the buns? You feel confused, disappointed, and irritated at the server who should know how to serve up a sandwich.

Most likely you've never had this experience in a restaurant. But I'll guarantee that many of us have had that experience at a conference or meeting.

Just as the diner anticipates the meal, the audience anticipates the speech. They expect the public speaker to know how to deliver the presentation. It's not enough to have good platform skills if the speech or presentation is disorganized.

Much like the burger on top of the bun, many public speakers begin with details making the message confusing and difficult to follow. The result is indigestion. The audience can't digest the message because they don't know what they are listening for.

Consider a leader I coached who was losing credibility when she spoke to senior management. After listening to her presentation, I was confused. She had a clear call to action. I knew what she wanted but I had no idea how she got there. We were both lost in the weeds of details that led nowhere.

The remedy was simple: SAVE THE MEAT FOR THE MIDDLE. Think of the top of the bun as your opening and the bottom of the bun as your conclusion. The opening and conclusion of the presentation usually take the same amount of time to deliver. The bulk of the speech is saved for the body, or the middle of the presentation. Begin with the overview, then dive into the details, and then recap the main points.

After we reworked the client's structure, she gave the presentation and was able to win approval for her project.

When you use the sandwich technique, you'll reduce your preparation time because you'll have a clear and simple format. Your audience will be able to follow your message because it will flow. So set the table with your opening, feed them appetizing ideas they can chew on, and save the meat for the middle. When you use this recipe, you'll influence your audience and get your just desserts!

First Impressions (by Kathy McShane) Guest Blogger

First Impressions impact all pubic speaking and communication. Read about First Impressions in an Excerpt from The Survivor’s Guide for Female Entrepreneurs, by Guest  Blogger  Kathy McShane We only have one chance to make a first impression. And that first impression can mean everything as you set out to make your mark in the business world. According to mindtools.com, a website providing free career skills and management techniques, it takes just a quick glance – maybe three seconds – for someone to evaluate you when you first meet, and this first impression is unlikely to change. So it’s important to think about the impression you want to leave. After all, as a small business owner, you are the face of your business.

When making that all-important first impression, keep these ideas in mind:

Body language speaks volumes. People you meet for the first time will pay as much attention to your body language as they will to your words. In fact, you’ll be judged by your body language before you even open your mouth. Be sure to uncross your arms and have an easy, ready smile at all times. Straighten your posture and offer a strong handshake.

Dress for the occasion. Find out what the “dress code” is at the location where you’ll be meeting people and plan appropriately. Choose an outfit that will complement your personality, boost your confidence and feel comfortable. Don’t wear a suit if you’re visiting a high-tech company, and don’t wear blue jeans to a bank. One business owner, hoping to seal a $24 million deal, was in competition with two other groups. The potential client told them all to dress in summer casual. The two competitors dressed in pinstriped suits. Guess who got the deal?

Be in the moment. Pay attention to the people you are meeting. Greet them with a firm handshake, look them in the eye and smile. Repeat their names as a way of remembering. Before going into the meeting or event, turn off digital devices.

Be engaged. Become immediately engaged in your discussion with the other person. Make sure to mention his or her name at least once during your conversation. This shows that you are interested and that you’ve paid attention.

Don’t interrupt. Unfortunately, people talk over each other and interrupt all the time. It may have to do with the digital age that we live in, which makes us feel that everything has to be responded to immediately. It’s easy to text or email while the other person is doing the same; in effect, you are engaged with your device and not with the person. When you are meeting someone face to face, however, be sure the other person is finished speaking before you begin to add to the conversation. Allow yourself to take a breath and process the previous comments. The silence may seem like forever, but it’s usually only a few seconds.

Throughout our journey as entrepreneurs, we will meet a lot of people and make many connections. And every connection gives us only one chance to make a great first impression. Be sure to make the most of it!

Is Public Speaking Fear Good for You?

Fear of speaking may be something people escape by avoiding speaking in public. But it just may be that the fear can be beneficial. Sociologist Margee Kerr, author of Scream: Chilling Adventures in the Science of Fear, noticed a relationship between fear and laughter. After watching people go through a haunted house, she noted that their screams would turn to laughter. Fear is not a separate state as most people believe, but shares much with other states such as surprise, excitement, and joy. How this arousal state gets interpreted depends on context.

As for public speaking, one person may experience an adrenaline rush as putting them in a readiness state; another may experience sheer terror.  According to Kerr, people push themselves to feel the "...exhilaration, fear, and eventual satisfaction that comes once the threat has passed." Once the fight is over, this can result in a boost of confidence. She explains that the nature of fears are a product of time and place and that we respond to some threats faster than others.

While screams and laughter may be experienced similarly in the brain, most of us perceive these emotions as being very different. The good news is fear of public speaking can be managed and even conquered. Some of the public speaking fear remedies include: desensitization, breathing techniques, mindfulness meditation, and skills practice. Once you shift your mind set, you'll change the way you think about speaking in public.Your fear may haunt you, but don't try too hard to fight your speaking anxiety. That arousal state may just give you a natural high.

Tell Your Own Stories Not Someone Else's

I'm honored to have Jeffrey Hayzlett as a guest blogger. Whether in life, or in business, there’s no cookie-cutter, surefire way to achieve success, no one plan you have to follow. We all carve our own niche, create our own success, but there are some things all successful entrepreneurs have in common: they Think Big and Act Bigger. Meaning, they tie visions to actions—go beyond the stories and excuses, the self—imposed limitations, preconceived notions and constraining structures to become the biggest, baddest, best versions of themselves.

Here are five principles that have helped me stay on track throughout my career:

Be Authentic   I consider myself a successful businessman, but that success doesn’t come from trophies or accolades. It comes from being me all the time. It’s OK if you’re not everyone’s cup of tea; it’s going to happen. Some of the best people I’ve met act the same way in public (or in a business setting) and at home. That authenticity comes through in every setting – during a meeting or at a keynote. There’s no need to second-guess their motives and they exude trust.

If you’ve been conditioned to think that being yourself is risky, ask yourself why? To me, that sounds exhausting. Having to pretend to be someone else is no way to live. How can your business stand for something when you can’t even stand up for yourself? Being anything less than yourself could have serious repercussions for your business. It can kill morale, productivity, loyalty, vision and eventually, your bottom line.

Adapt, Change or Die Your story will need to revolve over time. That’s a given! However, many people are afraid of changes, thinking that it will change the core of who they are. That couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s OK to evolve, and to even change your mind about things. That doesn’t change your core. If you refuse to evolve and change with the times, you run the risk of being the dinosaur in the room, and we all know what happened to them. Extinction shouldn’t be part of your plan. Ever!

What’s Your Story? That’s one question I ask everyone I meet. I ask, not only because I am interested, but because I’m curious to see how original their story is. I want to see if they stand up for something or if they’ve crafted their story out of someone else’s experience. For example, I am firmly against TED Talks, not because they’re useless, but because I think they cultivate a false sense of idolatry. There are some great people that speak at TED Talk with great, useful advice. But that’s their story; it will never be YOUR story. There’s no single solution to any problem, so while the TED Talks may inspire many, it can create a sheep mentality and not encourage the individuality I look for in people and entrepreneurs.

What Are Your Conditions of Satisfaction? In business, I always adhere to the following criteria: is it going to make me money, will I grow professionally and am I going to have fun doing it? Those are my conditions of satisfaction. I might consider a business opportunity that satisfies two of the three under the right circumstances, but never just one – no matter how good the money is.

Find out what makes you happy and meet your own conditions of satisfaction. Throughout my career, I have learned that violating those conditions, it never ends up well and it usually ends up costing me some money. So unless your last name’s Rockefeller, I wouldn’t recommend losing money on something that doesn’t interest you.

When in doubt, ask yourself the following questions: 1) Who are you? 2) What do you want to do? 3) Where do you want to go? 4) What is your end game? 5) How does it all connect to the story that sells you?

I’ll leave you with the following: the only thing that ever limited me were the voices in my head telling me I couldn’t do something or needed to do it differently. Basically, get out of your own way, ignore the naysayers and forge ahead. Find your own success.

Jeffrey Hayzlett Primetime TV & Radio Host, Keynote Speaker, Best-Selling Author and Global Business Celebrity Jeffrey Hayzlett is a primetime television host of C-Suite with Jeffrey Hayzlett and Executive Perspectives on C-Suite TV, and business radio host of All Business with Jeffrey Hayzlett on CBS on-demand radio network Play.It. He is a global business celebrity, speaker, best-selling author, and Chairman of C-Suite Network, home of the world’s most powerful network of C-Suite leaders. Hayzlett is a well-traveled public speaker, the author of two bestselling business books, The Mirror Test and Running the Gauntlet. His third book, Think Big, Act Bigger, releases September 2015. Hayzlett is one of the most compelling figures in business today.

Jeffrey is a leading business expert, cited in Forbes, SUCCESS, Mashable, Marketing Week and Chief Executive, among many others. He shares his executive insight and commentary on television networks like Bloomberg, MSNBC, Fox Business, and C-Suite TV. Hayzlett is a former Bloomberg contributing editor and primetime host, and has appeared as a guest celebrity judge on NBC’s Celebrity Apprentice with Donald Trump for three seasons. He is a turnaround architect of the highest order, a maverick marketer and C-Suite executive who delivers scalable campaigns, embraces traditional modes of customer engagement, and possesses a remarkable cachet of mentorship, corporate governance, and brand building.

3 Magic Words that Kill Public Speaking Fear

Did you ever wonder if there was an Aladdin's Lamp for public speaking? All you would need to do is ask the Genie for the magic words to eliminate fear of public speaking or performance anxiety. Just like the eternal search for the fountain of youth, people still yearn for that elixir, potion, or formula that will make their nervousness vanish. What I've discovered is that the words you speak have the power to transform how you think. It's not what you say but how you think about your fear. A number of years ago I spoke to a group of company leaders. They, like everyone else, were nervous about public speaking. At one point I looked them straight in the eye and made a statement. After the training seminar, people told me that those words were very powerful and changed how they thought about public speaking.

Fast forward to a coaching client who was afraid to speak up in her class. She even thought about dropping out of law school because she was so nervous about public speaking. I told her the same thing I told every public speaker. And then it happened. She started to think differently after I shared those famous words with her. She graduated from law school and went on to give presentations without fear.

Most recently, a former client called me for a refresher. She told me her manager noticed a big improvement in her presentation and the way she interacted with clients. He offered her the refresher coaching session to prepare for their upcoming high stakes presentation. During the meeting, my client shared with me that the words I said to her truly changed how she thought about presentations and public speaking. Are the words really magical? No! The words themselves contain nothing magical. What the words did was reframe the way people were thinking about their fear. They were viewing public speaking through a negative frame and that triggered anxiety.

Even though I'm a seasoned professional speaker, I found myself getting nervous the day before a presentation. It was a 10 minute spotlight for the National Speakers Association. I confided to my friend that I was a nervous wreck. I couldn't wait for it to be over. My friend grabbed me by the shoulders and said, "Diane, don't do that to yourself. You're not nervous. You're energized." So I went home and recited my new mantra: "I'm energized. I'm energized." The next morning I gave my speech and it was a success. Words do make a difference.

The 3 magic words have made an impact on so many people. I think it is time I share them with you. So what are the 3 Magic Words that help people face their fear?

"It's About Them."

When I speak to audiences of nervous presenters, I tell them, "Get over yourself. It's not about you. It's about them." What they've come to realize is that at the very core of public speaking nervousness is a feeling of being self-centered. That's right. If you focus on the fear, you're thinking about yourself. If you think about what the audience wants and needs, you're coming from a place of service.

Language reflects thought. Change your language and you'll change your thinking. The next time anxiety occupies your mind, change your focus. Tell yourself, "It's about them."

What have you said to yourself to change your thinking?

How to Influence an Audience without Saying a Word

Have you ever made an impact without saying a word? I remember how my father could stop me dead in my tracks with one look. You may have experienced "that look." It meant "Don't even try it. I mean business." But how do you do that when speaking in public?

How does a public speaker make that kind of impact and influence? Most presenters try to make impact by telling stories. Some use humor while other public speakers use vocal variety to influence. Using their voices like fine-tuned instruments, these presenters get louder to excite you and speak softly to draw you in. While these are all good techniques to communicate with an audience, there was one speaker recently, who transcended words to send a message.

I was watching the UN speeches at the General Assembly. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was at the podium. At one point I was simultaneously listening and checking my email messages when all of sudden the sound stopped. Ten-Fifteen-Twenty-Thirty seconds and still no sound. I looked up thinking I lost the cable connection. Thirty-five, Forty, Forty-five seconds passed and then Netanyahu resumed speaking. A 45 second pause! It was the longest pause I ever heard from a speaker. Combined with his glaring eye contact, his long silence signaled the audience that he meant business. His was a serious message.

How often do leaders and entrepreneurs rush through their message only to create a Doppler effect of words? The audience hears the sounds but the message fades just like a distant siren. Too many public speakers speak in run-on sentences or too fast leaving no room to pause. As an artist knows, it's the white space between the lines; it's the silence between the notes that makes the difference.

It takes confidence and a comfort in one's own skin to be able to pause. And few do it well. People are so afraid of silence. I coach clients to hold the energy of the audience and to embrace the sounds of silence. But it's easier said than done.

So start with this  simple exercise. Introduce yourself in one sentence. Most presenters say "Goodmorning,mynameis..." in one breath. Say it again with a pause.

"Good morning. (PAUSE). My name is..." Now do it again.

"Good morning. (LONGER PAUSE). My name is..." At the very least, give the audience time to respond.

"We don't have to hold the silence for 45 seconds like the Prime Minister, but if we don't master the pause, we'll become talking heads speaking in a vacuum. The only ones we'll influence will be  ourselves.

As Sri Sri Ravi Shakar said, "Real communication is beyond words. If you are firmly established in the zone of silence, if your mind is calm, you will find yourself suddenly being able to influence individuals, groups, and masses."

6 Periscope Presentation Tips

Have you done your first Periscope Presentation? It's a free live stream service you can access on your smart phone or tablet.

If you've ever given a live stream presentation, you know that it takes a lot of work. You first go into a studio. You're dependent on the technology crew. You need to stand in the right spot. And it's expensive.

Periscope is a great tool for anyone who wants to share their presentations and live experiences. Think twitter on video steroids. Public speaking is now accessible 24/7 in real time.

Why give presentations on Periscope? It's a powerful marketing tool. Giving valuable content in real time, a public speaker can build their brand, access greater reach, engage with their audience, and speak to people from anywhere in the world-even when you're on vacation. On a personal note, imagine sharing weddings and family events with relatives who cannot attend in person. It creates a bonded community.

But as with all public speaking, you'll want to present yourself in the best light. Here are some tips for maximizing the effectiveness of Periscope or live stream presentations.

1. Announce your presentation in advance. Don't think that people are going to tune in just because you popped up on their screen.Let your audience know that you'll be speaking live at a certain time and date. Send another reminder a few minutes before your broadcast.
2. Prepare your opening shot. Periscope will default to the first thing the camera sees. So, point your camera to the photo or scene you want to end the broadcast. Then tap the camera to point at you if you are the public speaker.
3. Engage. Start by welcoming and acknowledging the people who are watching. If you don't see any people icons, keep talking anyway. People will watch the replay. After the welcome, tell them a bit about yourself and then ask a question. Some presenters like to show the audience their venue or introduce them to their pets. People will respond in the chat box. The best presentations are dialogues.
4. Provide value. Do NOT make this a sales pitch. People will not return. Give the audience some tips or discuss an issue or industry trend. Ask for their input.
5. Be brief. It's better to do more frequent,, short presentations than a long session. They will get to know you over time and will look forward to your message.
6. Seize the moment. If you know something is going to happen, live stream it. When I had to leave the National Speakers Association convention early, my friend live streamed the keynotes. I was so grateful. If you're going to speak, ask a friend to film you on Periscope using your phone.

For years I've been saying that future public speakers would need broadcasting skills. That time is already here. Periscope is a great presentation tool that anybody can use. The possibilities are endless.

Three Presentations Entrepreneurs Must Master

Whether you’re a solopreneur or an INC 5000 CEO on the fast track, your ability to present yourself, your company, and your value, will determine the trajectory of your business Here are three presentations every entrepreneur must master:

The Positioning Statement. At the simplest level, the positioning statement is your company’s brand message. What do you do, whom do you serve, and how does the customer benefit?   It must be clear, concise, compelling and convincing. Aim for 15 seconds or less. To be concise, write your positioning statement as a tweet. In order to be compelling and convincing you’ll need to talk outcomes, not features.  It should prompt the listener to say, “How do you do this?”

Here are some examples:

A sales trainer: “I work with sales companies who want to sell more in less time.”

An actress: “I work with savvy professionals to speak with the poise, passion and persuasive power of a Broadway actor."

A divorce mediator: “I help you get your life back.”

Use sensory language and evocative metaphors to create emotion. The brain ignores overused expressions as simply words. Brain scans, however, reveal that sensory metaphors like ‘silky voice' actually trigger the sensory cortex.  Hollywood producer, Peter Guber said that he lost a log of big deals in the beginning of his career because he gave investors “a lot of data but didn’t engage them emotionally”. So be expressive - descriptive - and tap into the listeners’ emotions.

Marketing with a Speech. If you’re not speaking to promote your business, you’re leaving money on the table. Public speaking is the most cost effective and yet underutilized form of marketing. Offering seminars and presentations to your target audience, allows you to show them how you can solve their problems and serve their needs. This is much less time consuming than scheduling one-on-one meetings. When the audience sees you in action, it’s like test driving a car. You build trust through your message and live performance.

To succeed with speak marketing, you’ll need to bone up on your platform skills. Poor presentation skills will foster a lack of trust. And don’t make it a sales pitch. The key to success is to engage the audience by giving them an experience. One sales manager taped a dollar bill under each chair. During his pitch to convince the sales team to sell more, he told them to reach under their seats. When they had the dollar bill in their hands he bellowed, “It just goes to show you there’s money to be made when you get off your butt.”

Provide value, offer a few tips, and challenge their thinking. Be sure to have a low entry call to action such as a free strategy session or a discounted product. The goal is to gather sales leads. The easiest way to capture business cards is to raffle off a prize.

Pitching for Dollars. At some point, a company will need funding in order to grow. To get investors to part with their money requires a compelling story. Facts tell, but stories sell. In telling the business story, the entrepreneur must convey passion and confidence. The presentation deck won’t sell itself. I once asked an investor how much weight he gave the presentation. He told me that a strong management team was most important but decided against funding one company because the CEO was a weak presenter. This made the investors lose confidence in the company. Make strong eye contact, eliminate /ums/, and speak with conviction.

The power of passion cannot be underplayed. Research shows a direct correlation between “perceived passion” and the likelihood of receiving funding from investors. A study by Chapman University published an experiment in the Journal of Business Venturing. Researchers asked angel investors to rate the passion and enthusiasm of the presenters while controlling for risk, revenue potential and market opportunity. Perceived passion came in third, outranking education, age, style, or start-up experience.

Another mistake is not knowing the audience. Angel investors are different from VCs. Understand their goals and do research to determine if they understand your industry. Remember to think from their point of view. Investors don’t care about your product. Tell them how they’ll make money. And be sure to get to the point. Investors have short attention spans. “They decide in 90 seconds if they are going to listen and decide in the first five minutes if it’s a NO”, according to Karen Rands, Founder of LAUNCH.fn. The ideal timing for a business pitch is 15-20 minutes.

By mastering these three entrepreneurial presentations, business owners will be able to take their companies to the next level and soar.

What Carly Fiorina Knows About Public Speaking Gravitas

Is public speaking the key to winning an election?   At the beginning of the debate 40% of the people didn't know Carly Fiorina. According to the google heat map, 82% googled her after her public speaking success. Whether you like her or not, clearly, she gave a stellar performance. She was a stand out among her peers, exuding executive presence and gravitas. What does that mean? If you define gravitas as decisiveness, poise under pressure, assertiveness, and confidence, Carly had it in spades.

Her presentation was clear, focused, and direct. Her tone was confident and not overly emotional. When questioned, she didn't miss a beat. Carly's speech was devoid of hesitations and fillers yet she did not sound canned. Her responses were well thought out and when pressed, she responded with explanations, not defensiveness. Contrasted to Donald Trump, who responded with anger, Carly appeared in control and presidential. Granted, she was not questioned by Megyn Kelly. But the mark of a true leader is to deflect hostile questions and bridge to the message points. Based on her performance in the first debate, there's a good chance she'd be able to handle tougher questioning. As a result of her presentation, she increased her name recognition.

Public speaking is the new competitive advantage. What sets you apart from the competition is your presentation. This was evident when watching some of the other candidates. Although they may have had greater name recognition and a resume of accomplishments, a few candidates came across as flat or nervous. Others were confrontational. Can public speaking be the key to winning an election? Probably not when politics are at play. But the best leaders are great communicators. In politics and in business, excellent presentation skills will make you memorable, extend your brand, and build confidence in your leadership.

3 Presentation Screw-Ups By the GOP Debate Moderators

After watching the first GOP Debate on TV, I was struck at the lack of skill of some the moderators. These are professional broadcast journalists and you would think their public speaking training in front of the camera would be evident.

Here are three mistakes a professional moderator should avoid:

1. Grammatical Errors. One of the male moderators actually said, "Was wrote" instead of "Was written." Don't they teach grammar in school anymore? It made him sound uneducated and I wondered how he was selected for this position. It takes more than good looks to moderate a television debate. He lost credibility.

2. Citing an Opinion or Irrelevant Remarks. A professional moderator asks provocative questions but doesn't make remarks like one of the moderators did tonight. Governor Perry said that in his first day in office he'd need a bottle of white out to erase all the executive orders of the previous administration and it would be a long day. The moderator quipped, "Yes, that would be a long day". There was no reason to comment. This is not a one-on-one discussion. The moderator is not there to validate the candidate. The goal is to stay neutral.

3. Not Getting to the Point. A female moderator didn't seem to understand the difference between asking a question and giving a speech. She delivered a lead in of about three sentences before she posed the actual question. We don't need background information. Just ask the question!  Not only is this frustrating to the audience, but it signals that the moderator is not a clear thinker or communicator. It's a communication style of a novice.

The good news is you don't have to fear public speaking. If professional broadcasters are making these mistakes you don't have to worry that you'll derail on the platform. Learn from their mistakes and keep these points in mind whenever you're the moderator or a public speaker.

The GPS Girl's Top 10 Directions for Vocal Health for Public Speakers

I'm honored to have  Karen Jacobsen – The GPS Girl® – as my guest blogger. Read her top 10 tips for having a healthy voice. Whether you are a professional speaker or a business professional your voice is a key asset.  It’s the core of our ability to communicate, to get our ideas across and to be heard.  As a professional speaker and singer my voice is essential to my profession.  What I have discovered is that excellent vocal health happens to also result in excellent overall health.

Here are some of the ways I protect my voice on a daily basis:

1. Be Rested

To maintain a healthy voice one of the basics is getting enough rest.  I have to make sure I am on top of getting a good 8 hours of sleep per night consistently to keep my voice in great shape.  Put sleep in your calendar like an important appointment (because it is) and prevent being run down.

2. Drink a Crazy Amount of Water

This is an absolute essential.  I drink 6 - 10 glasses of water throughout the day (did you know that 80% of Americans are dehydrated?) and I also drink tea.  I prefer almost tannin-free tea and make sure I am drinking water and tea all day long.  If you need to, set an alarm several times a day as a reminder.

3. Honey is My Secret Weapon

Honey has amazing healing properties, pleasant to taste and is very soothing.  If I am feeling a little tickle in my throat or I am vocally tired, I will have a spoonful of honey.  It's one of the ways I will fight off something, by having a teaspoon of honey every hour or half hour, especially before bed.

4. Carry a Scarf

I carry a scarf with me 12 months of the year as I am often in some kind of artificially heated or cooled environment.  Even in the height of summer when walking into a restaurant or a convention room it is icy.  Being able to protect my throat with a scarf helps my body temperature and specifically my throat.  If I find my throat or neck is exposed and it is unusually cool I can catch a chill and it can be downhill from there, potentially leading to a vocal problem.

5. Oil Pulling

We already know about keeping hydrated and I recently learned about an ancient Ayurveda treatment called Oil Pulling.  This is amazing for overall health, and involves swishing cold-pressed organic sesame oil in the mouth for between 7 and 20 minutes first thing each morning.  I learned this from a top New York vocal coach, Joan Baker, and a great side effect is a vast improvement in dental health.  There is a lot of excellent information online about oil pulling.

6. Yelling is Telling

If you are in a loud environment and straining to be heard over music or talking, or at a sporting event, do not yell.  Do not scream.  Do not cheer super loudly.  It's something to be extremely conscious of to protect your voice.

7. If it Hurts, Don't Do It

This may sound pretty obvious, but we've all been in a situation where we are a little too exuberant with our voice and it starts to hurt.  You may be giving a presentation and the microphone isn't working properly, or you are trying to be heard over loud music or conversation.  If it hurts in any way, it is hurting your vocal cords and could lead to major problems.

8. Beware of Dairy

If you have to use your voice more than usual and know you will have to talk with people all day long at a conference or trade show, or with back to back business meetings when you are usually have a quieter workday in the office, watch how much dairy is in your diet.  It can create more mucus and the vocal passages are not as clear.

9. Skip the Ice

In the U.S. ice is routinely served in cold drinks and this can lead to big vocal problems.  It can tighten or numb your vocal cords, and for me it just irritates my throat and leaves me more susceptible to a sore throat.  Always ask for water with no ice and wean yourself off ice in all beverages.  This can have an amazing impact on your vocal comfort.

10. Clearing your Throat can Cause Injury

Do not under any circumstances 'clear your throat.'  This can actually injure your vocal cords.  Instead, take a sip of water, cough gently or swallow to clear the throat

Building the strength of your voice and preventing vocal problems is a lot more enjoyable than having them show up.  Rest, hydrate and pay attention to the way you are using your voice on a daily basis and enjoy excellent vocal health.  You might just feel so much better in the process.

Karen Jacobsen is The GPS Girl®, an entertainer who moved in 2000 from Australia to New York with a suitcase and a dream. Karen gives directions as the speaking voice of  “Australian Karen” in over 400 million GPS and smartphone devices around the world. A professional speaker, singer and voice-over artist, Karen travels the world speaking and performing concert-style keynotes to groups who want to be able to “recalculate” and give their best in business and life. Karen has appeared on ABC World News Tonight, NBC Today Show, CBS Early Show, Inside Edition, NPR, The New York Times, NY Daily News, Glamour Magazine, and was named one of People Magazine’s Most Intriguing People. Sharing the bill with Norah Jones, Neil Sedaka and Christopher Cross, she has performed The Star Spangled Banner at many major sporting events including the New York Jets game at Giants Stadium. Karen Jacobsen currently serves as President of the National Speakers Association-New York City.

For more information visit thegpsgirl.com. Connect with her @thegpsgirl on Twitter and Facebook.com/thegpsgirl