No Boring Topics-Only Boring Speakers

It was Day One of my presentation skills seminar. I asked the participants to talk about their passion. The presenters spoke about a vacation, a hobby, a sport, an event. It was evident that their presentations improved when they spoke with passion. Next up was Elliot. I asked, "What's your topic?" He replied, "Inventory control." A bit confused, I said, "No, Elliot, It should be something you feel passionate about. What excites you?" "Inventory control," he countered. I could tell that this was going to be a LONG day. Subscribing to the philosophy, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, I acquiesced. After all, some people just have to learn the hard way. I hit the record button on the video camera, as I anticipated his painfully boring presentation.

Well, all of a sudden I snapped to attention. Elliot was so excited about his job in inventory control. As he described what he did, Elliot was animated, passionate, and truly enjoying himself. No nervous public speaker was he. As a public speaker, he came alive and was bursting with energy as he relived all his contributions and what he loved about his job. And in that moment I had an epiphany...

There are no boring topics. There are only boring speakers.

How often do we hear people in financial services or technology use their so called "dry topic" as an excuse to be boring?  I remember coaching a manager in a large financial services company. He had to deliver numbers during his monthly reports. He would drone on and deliver digits like he was reading a death decree. The audience would fight to keep their eyes open. Yet, people who knew him socially would call him a "good time Charlie". After work, he was funny and animated but somehow he'd lost himself during financial presentations. So we used his natural humor and applied it to his presentation. In the next meeting he started with a quiz.

He wrote a very large number on the board. Suddenly people were looking up at him with curiosity. "This number," he said, "is a) the national deficit, b) my wife's credit card bill, c) the current lotto winnings, d) our projected revenues. His peers started laughing. Soon, people looked forward to his attention grabbing openings. He realized that there are no boring topics, only boring speakers.

Fast forward to today. In New York City, during my morning commute, I see free local newspapers handed out. Some of the workers simply push a paper in front of a commuter, hoping they'll take one. They think of their jobs as pushing paper.

But there was one man who caught my attention as I was going into the subway. He positioned himself at the entrance so people would pass him on the stairs. He'd move around and start chanting, "Get you A.M. paper." "Get it here." He'd bounce along as he connected with the crowd. This man was having fun. He took what could be a boring job and used his creativity to connect with the morning crowd. He brought a smile to my face. Here's someone who knows instinctively that even delivering newspapers is a presentation. Watch him and you'll know you never have to be boring again:

AM New York

OMG! Where Have All the Good Networkers Gone?

There's a line from a Peter Paul and Mary song, Where Have All the Flowers Gone? that goes "When will they ever learn? When will they ever learn?" Well, I want to know, "Where have all the good networkers gone?" In some instances I've started using Skype video as a first point of contact. The conversation starts out cordial. I usually ask the person to tell me about themselves and their business. It's rare that I'm asked that question first. We have a brief friendly interchange and may even discover something in common.

But then it happens. The SALES PITCH! I watched my own eyes glaze over on the Skype video as the person yammered on about the offer. I learned every component, compartment, and crevice of that product. There didn't seem to be much awareness of my state of ennui. No conversation-just a fast moving monologue like a getaway train.

Can you spell dialogue? Communication is a two way street.

Losing hope that it would finally come to an end, I used my media training skills and made a bridge statement to my business. More often than not, I'll have to use a "pattern interrupt" to bring them back into their bodies. It's as if they get lost in the verbal vomiting and forget that there's another person in the room. During one interchange I asked, "Just out of curiosity, what do you think I do?"

Bad networking pervades every venue. How many networking lunches have you attended where people drone on? The worst example was a guest who stood up and read a three page testimonial. Get me the gong! Here's the truth: less is more. People remember less the longer you speak.

Networking is not about speech-making. It's about building relationships. How can you do that if you only talk about yourself? Knowing I'm not alone in this experience, I asked my friend how she handles networking gone amuck. She confided that she now sets limits in her networking meetings. She tells people that she will meet on the condition that they don't talk about their products and services. She only wants to get to know them.

Networking, like public speaking, is a skill. And skills can be learned. Here are some tips to enhance your networking conversations and presentations:

Prepare. Go to the website and learn about the other person. Learn about their customers and alliances. They could be a source of referrals.

Be Curious. Get to know the other person as an individual and not as a business owner. There is hidden treasure you can mine when you learn about a person's life. Uncovering their interest in golf, could lead to an invitation to play and meet others at a country club.

Give to Give. Come from a place of helping without thinking of yourself. Ask how you can help them. Remember the rule of reciprocity. When you give to someone they will feel obligated to give back.

Less is More. To make your message sticky, explain what you do in a simple sound bite. I recently challenged my readers to give their elevator speech in 7 words or less. I invite you to take the challenge. Remember FDR's quote: "Be sincere, be brief, be seated."

Put in the Time. Nobody is going to refer a person they just met. Building trust takes time. Be willing to invest in relationship building. Stay in touch with phone calls, emails, and cards.

Don't Sell. Frequently, the person you meet is not going to be a direct buyer but their contacts could be a customer for you. The time to sell is when someone is interested in buying.

So where have all the good networkers gone? You'll  know them when you see them. I met a couple of good networkers last week. It was a real conversation- full of questions, comments, suggestions, energy, smiles, and real interest.

You won't hit it off with everybody but when you practice these six tips you'll maximize every conversation and build a strong network.

Mitt Romney Got Booed - Have You?

Mitt Romney was invited to speak to the NAACP knowing that it's members are  overwhelmingly Democratic.  He acknowledged and thanked his hosts and expressed his honor at being invited. He made an attempt at humor by saying “I hope the Obama campaign doesn’t think you’re playing favorites.“ There was a mild tittering from the crowd.

Governor Romney anticipated the question everybody was thinking.  How did a Republican become governor of Massachusetts?  He explained that he made the case to every single voter as he was doing now and later added, “I know candidates can expect a fair hearing from a venerable  organization like this."

He clearly articulated his goals to provide jobs, improve education, and to help the middle class. His approach was to cut unnecessary spending. And then it happened. He said he would repeal Obama care which was greeted with booing from the crowd. It happens to many speakers.

In the late 1990's I gave a presentation in one of the Southern states. I was talking about behavioral styles and cited Bill Clinton as a typical "Influencing" or sales personality. All of a sudden I heard booing from the class. The South is generally Republican territory and Clinton was not popular. I smiled and made a joke about it and went on.

In the case of Romney, he stayed cool, smiled, and waited for the booing to die down. He didn’t get defensive and was allowed to continue. Romney spoke to the facts and repeated his intention to “create jobs for the American people.”

When he did score points with the crowd it was met with quiet applause. He extolled his record as governor by citing the improvement in reading and math scores and his raising the standards for high school graduation. He was able to successfully veto the bill that would block charter schools in Massachusetts by joining forces with the Black Caucus.

In an effort to build a bond, he told the story of his father, George Romney, who was involved in the civil rights movement of the 1960's. Unfortunately, it wasn't his own experience and didn't hit the mark.

Overall, Romney gave a professional speech. He clearly communicated his message points. You knew what he stood for. He stood on his record of accomplishments in Massachusetts.

Romney tried to influence with facts. As a result, he came from his head and not his heart. The missing ingredient was passion. Governor Romney needed to tell personal stories. It was a good speech, but not a moving speech.  He received a polite standing ovation. The audience didn’t dislike him. They just weren’t moved by him.

It’s difficult enough for any speaker to present before an audience that isn't openly receptive. In an organization, a CEO who is announcing layoffs will not be greeted with enthusiasm. But an outstanding speaker can position a message and speak with such passion and conviction that they can influence an audience. That didn’t happen here. Could it have? Probably not. Romney needs to express more passion and personal connection if he is to win over his audience.

But does it matter that he was booed? Not really. What he accomplished was to get his message out. He didn't need to talk over the crowd and he wasn't forced off stage. Whenever a speaker delivers a message that is unpopular, the risk is rejection. It goes with the territory. The question to ask is this: Did the message get heard?

Have you ever been booed? How did you handle it?

Bill of Rights for Public Speakers

July seems to signify freedom. July 1st is Canadian Independence Day, on July 4th  the U.S. celebrates its birth as a nation, and on July 14th, the French celebrate Bastille Day. I started thinking about the freedoms we enjoy-freedom of the press, freedom of religion, freedom of speech.

We have this great gift of expression, the freedom to speak our minds. Yet some public speakers are anything but free. They approach the podium as if they're walking their last mile. Their bodies stiffen, their faces freeze,and their words trip over their tongues. These speakers are imprisoned by their own negative beliefs and shrink before an imagined enemy-the audience.  Well, it's time for all public speakers to assert their rights.

Public Speaking Bill of Rights

1.  I have the right to be my authentic self.
2. I have the right to be relaxed and in control.
3. I have the right to smile and enjoy myself.
4. I have the right to engage the audience.
5. I have the right to not know all the answers.
6. I have the right to make mistakes and recover with grace.
7. I have the right to walk in like I own the room.
8. I have the right to reference the slide without reading it.
9. I have the right to own my power and not give it all to the audience.
10. I have the right to establish eye contact and not get flustered if they don't smile.
11. I have the right to speak with conviction.
12. I have the right to enjoy my standing ovation!

S.H.E. Summit Week-Speak Powerfully Sell More

It's the S.H.E. Summit Week in New York City. SHE stands for She Helps Empower. This week long event was organized by Claudia Chan. From June 18-to June 24 there are women's events to inspire and empower. In addition to  yoga, networking, a press breakfast and evening cocktail party there were several workshops. My presentation, Speak Powerfully, Sell More was part of the entrepreneurial track. Carolyn Herfurth presented Art of the Ask, Bryn Johnson talked about building online communities, and Jennifer Wilkov presented Your Book is Your Hook. It's been fun and inspiring and I've met some amazing women. For the complete schedule visit  S.H.E. Summit Week

 

Save Speaking Time with Rhyme

Giving a good  elevator speech is an opportunity to make  you and your company shine. But how do you stand out from all the others? Good public speakers know how to use presentation techniques such as speaking in three's, repetition, and alliteration. But rhyme? Last week,  I attended a BNI networking meeting. It was a large group and the introductions were limited to 20 seconds. It's always a challenge to be able to create a concise message which is also compelling and memorable. There were a number of clever taglines. A massage therapist said: "I won't rub you the wrong way." An accountant offered, "We make your life less taxing." A green real estate company announced, "Green sockets put green in your pockets."

But the most memorable person was Frank  Passantino, the owner of Printech Business Systems in New York City.  He stood up and in a Brooklyn "God Father"- like accent he started to rap:

I'm the rhyming Italian printer -Frankie P If you don't use me - I may Break your knee. I'm only kidding - That stuff ain't true. But some day you may end up- In a vat of hot glue. So if you don't call me - When you print the next time . I may not hurt you -  But I'll kill you with rhyme

He ended with this tagline: "We'll make you a brochure your customers can't refuse."

While Kanye and Eminem don't have anything to worry about and Frankie P is not going to quit his day job, he did get attention and laughter from the group. And he made the 20 second time limit. To be a memorable speaker you need to capture attention. While most people drone on about how wonderful they are, speaking in rhyme is a fun way to toot your own horn without blowing it. As soon as you do something unexpected the audience pays attention.

What presentation techniques have you used to make an introduction more interesting?

The Rap on Public Speaking

In the New York Post, there was an article about Ice T's rules of public speaking. So here is a hip hop star who knows it's all about the performance. I always say, life is a presentation and rapping is no exception. As I was reading his public speaking rules I realized there were similarities to my top 10 speaking mistakes. Take a look and note if you make any of these presentation mistakes. http://www.diresta.com/in-the-media/top-ten-lists/top-ten-mistakes-speakers-make

Entrepreneurs "DIY" (Do It Yourself) Marketing Tips

June is Entrepreneurs "DIY" (Do It Yourself) Marketing month. Speakers need to effectively market their speeches and presentations. Even if you work for a company, you may be called to speak at industry conferences and trade shows - and that means you need to promote yourself. Marketing doesn't have to be expensive. Here are some free or low cost ways to promote yourself and your business.

• Create a short video and post it to YouTube and social media.
• Send clients thank you cards and gifts. Send a card for FREE on me right now - creativefollowup.com.
• Promote your product in a newsletter with a large distribution.
• Use LinkedIn to find your target market. (read Jan Wallen's book: Mastering Linkedin In 7 Days Or Less).
• Use college interns to help you market.
• Post your links to google+ to get better search engine results.
• Subscribe to HARO's free media newsletter.
• Speak! Speak at local industry associations.

Marketing doesn't have to be expensive. No matter how good you are, it's not how many people you know, it's who knows you that counts. So try some of these low cost marketing tips to get your message and your name out there and make sure you know how to present yourself powerfully. When you're ready to take your presentation to the next level, click here.

Command More Clout: 5 Tips for Effective Communication

June is effective communication month. To increase your influence and executive presence, your message must  grab and keep attention. I make sure that all my coaching clients know the secrets of speaking with impact. Here are 5 quick tips to be a knockout communicator.

Is Your Diction Distorting Your Message?

Certain speech patterns grate on people's nerves. It goes beyond a simple mispronunciation or grammatical error. Just like excessive "ums" and "ahs" in a presentation will distract your listeners, a distorted sound will cause them to focus on your diction, rather than the meaning of your message. Listen to this video to see if you have this common speech distortion - shared by both Carol Channing and former Congresswoman Shirley Chisholm:

Are You Guilty By Omission?

When a speaker or presenter leaves out a sound or a syllable, they are guilty of omissions. Otherwise known as deletions, these speech mistakes can cause the speaker to sound uneducated or unprofessional. Often, these deletions are a type of regionalism and frequently, the presenter has no idea that they omit certain sounds. I was recently asked to coach someone because her regional speech patterns were impacting her executive presence and opportunities for advancement. We discovered that omissions were one of her issues. Listen to the video to see if you're guilty of using any of these deletions.

Do You Have Additions in Your Diction?

Diction is an important part of public speaking. Mispronounced words become a distraction and your message can get lost. Effective presenters are mindful of their pronunciation. Certain regionalisms become part of the vernacular, but that doesn't mean it's correct. Inappropriate diction or sloppy speech can rob you of executive presence and impact your professional success.

Listen carefully as you watch this video to see if you make this verbal faux pas:

Even Michelle Obama Mispronounces This Word

In 2004 I was quoted in the Wall Street Journal about sloppy speech habits in the workplace. It hit a nerve and the reporter, Joann Lublin, wrote a follow up piece. It seems that employers favor good diction in the workplace. In honor of May being Better Speech and Hearing month, I'm posting some one minute videos to address the issue of poor diction. Even well spoken, high profile communicators express the occasional verbal faux pas or mispronunciation. Some of these diction errors are regionalisms;even so, they can undermine the speaker's credibility, executive presence, and leadership.

Stop the Verbal Vomiting

A few weeks ago I was exhibiting at a trade show and experienced a communication pattern which I now realize is not so uncommon. People would walk by the booth and I’d ask a qualifying question. If they answered affirmatively, I’d continue the conversation. One of the quickest ways to learn that someone is not a buyer is to listen to their conversational pattern. They don’t stop talking. These people don’t pick up on subtle cues such as noticing I’m moving away or using an exit line. They get caught up in their own loquaciousness.  I call it verbal vomiting.  According to wikipedia, vomiting  is “the forceful expulsion of the contents of one’s stomach through the mouth." Verbal vomiting is the forceful expulsion of the contents of one’s mind through the mouth and projecting it at whoever has engaged them in discourse. One person approached me at the booth and confided that he had creative ideas but couldn’t express them as message points. He would talk in circles.  I suggested he talk it out with a writer who could interview him and capture his ideas. He loved my suggestion and asked me if I could help. “No, that’s not what I do,” I explained.  “It’s not about the money,” he countered. I told him to look for a writer and that I didn’t know anybody. He continued talking and I realized that much of the time people are just looking for free therapy. Like Joe the bartender, they want someone with whom they can share their story without any real commitment to solving the problem.  I wished him luck and walked to the  other side of the booth.

Sadly, he wasn’t the only case. Another attendee walked by the booth. It was clear in the first five seconds that he was not a prospect. Did he care? Of course, not.  He kept talking. There was no awareness that he was wasting my time or that I was bored to tears. With some people you have to be rude before they get the message.

Verbal vomiting is not limited to trade shows. A couple of years ago, I had hired a woman to do some SEO marketing. When the contract was coming to an end, Kathy (not her real name) phoned me  to renew the agreement. She talked non-stop and never came up for air. There was not even a nano second of a pause where I could interject. I called her name-”Kathy.” No answer. I tried again a little louder, “Kathy!” I screamed into the phone, “Kathy!!!” She never stopped and I don’t think she heard me. Was her phone on mute? Did she think she would sell me if she kept talking? I hung up the phone. I believe Kathy is out of business today.

This communication pattern can also cost you a job offer.  Nervous job candidates rattle on without taking a breath. Silence is frightening so they fill in the gaps with idle chatter. Here’s where many candidates derail. By talking too much they reveal information and can talk themselves into a corner. Incessant chatter conveys nervousness and a lack of preparation. A skilled interviewer will wonder what the applicant may be hiding.

If you still think you haven’t experienced verbal vomiting, then think back to your last networking meeting. We’ve all heard the person who goes on and on until the moderator has to intervene. What people don’t realize is that when it comes to communication, less is more. The listener just can’t absorb all that information. And when you drone on about yourself, you bore the audience and lose the opportunity for a relationship. Communication is not about giving a speech. It’s an exchange of ideas, a dialogue. It’s not about you. It’s about them-the audience. The best defense against this kind of communicator is to have a list of exit lines. “It’s been nice talking to you.”  “I don’t want to monopolize your time.” “I’m going to get a refill.”

Reverse peristalsis is nature’s way of ridding the body of poisons. In communication, verbal vomiting is poisonous to your audience. The antacid is to observe body language, take turns, ask questions and listen. The key to effective communication is to be listener-centered.

Va Bene: What the Italians Taught Me About Public Speaking

It’s been a while since you’ve heard from me. I just got back from vacation in Northern Italy. In the big cities, a lot of people speak English but in the smaller towns, it helps to speak a few words of Italian. We were in the town of Quinto, a suburb of Vicenza. While we were paying for our food, the cashier asked my husband if he spoke Italian. He shook his head and said, “No parla Italiano.

What Are Your Presentation Disciplines?

My coaching client was practicing his presentation. As he talked about the company process for managing a stock portfolio, he explained their stock picking discipline. Regardless of the portfolio manager’s expertise, it’s required to drop a stock when it dips below a certain level. In other words, they may carry big winners, small winners or small losers, but they don’t tolerate stocks that are big losers. This number or percentage is how they factor out emotions and manage risk. After explaining the stock picking discipline, he looked up and asked me, “What are my presentation disciplines?

What Seasoned Speakers Know That You Don't

National Speakers Association convention is where you'll find the top speakers in the world on the main stage. A number of years ago, I attended a convention. One of the keynote speakers gave an inspiring and tear jerking presentation. He spoke about how he and his wife couldn't have children so they adopted a couple of boys. They were brothers who were not well treated and were put up for adoption. He told the audience about how difficult it was to gain their trust and parent them. He recounted all the troubled times. In the end, the little boys flourished and his wife discovered she was pregnant. The speaker then brought the little boys on stage. To say there wasn't a dry eye in the house is an understatement. The tears were streaming down my face. My friend looked over and said, "Are you all right?" I told him "I can't take it." The entire audience was overwhelmed by emotion. This speaker was able to pierce each person's heart and trigger an emotional reaction. It takes skill to tell a story that has so much emotional impact. This is a good thing, isn't it? Well, maybe. But this speaker did the one thing you should never do from the platform...

On Sunday morning I watched Joel Osteen, the motivational speaker and pastor of Lakewood Church. He too, had an emotional story to tell. It was about a country singer.

At a young age this singer, had strayed from his values and started hanging around with the wrong crowd.  He got involved with alcohol and drugs. His name was on billboards everywhere and Joel's mother would notice the singer's name every time they passed the billboard on the road. Although, she had never met him, she would say a prayer for him. This ritual went on for more than a year. Then one day when the country singer was feeling down on his luck, he wandered into the church where Joel's father was the pastor. An usher recognized him and alerted Joel's mother. She immediately got up and embraced him. She told him about all the times she had prayed for him.

After telling this story, Joel pointed to the country singer who was sitting in the front row. As the camera zoomed in on him, you could see the singer wiping away his tears.   It was an emotional crescendo. The audience burst into applause.  And, at that moment, Joel said, "Aw, he's not that good." The audience broke into laughter.

Joel did something the first speaker forgot to do. The first speaker opened us up, raw with emotion, and left us there. It was like a surgeon opening a wound but forgetting to close it back up.   Joel used humor to break the tension. A seasoned speaker can take you on a roller coaster of emotions. You'll experience the exhilaration of the highs and lows. But they will always bring you back to solid ground. And one of the best ways to do this is through humor.

You may be a good storyteller who can open people to their emotions. But do you finish the job by closing them back up? As a speaker, you have the power of the spoken word. Remember you have the emotions of the audience in your hands. Use your power carefully.