What a Postal Worker Taught Us About Leadership Communication

Today was sunny and warm for November, so I decided to start my day a little later than usual. I drove to the post office to buy stamps. There were already people waiting and I was third in line.  The doors opened at 8:30 a.m. Once inside, a postal worker appeared and instead of getting behind the window she made a beeline for the back office. All the windows were devoid of workers. Customers were lined up with nobody to serve them.

The postal worker didn’t say anything. She just left. We expected she’d be right back. After 15 to 20 minutes of waiting, I considered leaving. I asked the people in line, “Doesn’t the post office open at 8:30?” A man confirmed the time and said that the woman left and never returned to the window. At that point I left the line and started knocking on the window. Nothing happened. Then I went to the back door and started knocking. Nobody responded. When I walked back to the line the postal worker was behind the window talking to the first customer.

Then it was my turn to approach the window. As she was taking my order she said softly, “Sorry for the delay.” She offered no explanation. When she finished the transaction, she said “Sorry for the delay.” I didn’t respond.

I didn’t appreciate someone wasting my time. Had she offered an explanation, I could have mustered up some empathy. When I told my husband the story, he said, “It sounds like another incompetent worker.” I knew that wasn’t true. This woman had served me in the past and she was effective at her job. Maybe the reason she didn’t offer an explanation for her long delay was because the boss told her not to say anything. Who knows?

Lateness is never a sign of good service and it’s inevitable that there’ll be delays especially during the holidays. But when the service provider doesn’t communicate with customers they create their own stories and the customers feel frustrated, angry and disrespected.

What if she announced that she had to go to the back office and would be with us in a few minutes? At least we would know what to expect and wouldn’t feel dismissed . What if she had offered an explanation such as, “Sorry for the delay. We’re short staffed.” Most customers are tolerant when they have a reason for the lateness. When a worker or a leader doesn’t acknowledge the presence of customers or employees, it signals disrespect. The people feel invisible and unimportant.

What is the leadership communication lesson we can learn from this postal worker?

·        Communicate, Communicate, Communicate

·        Let people know what to expect.

·        When things don’t work out, give them a reason.

These principles will build trust and respect and can prevent conflicts from escalating.

How do you handle delays? How do you manage people’s expectations?

7 Tips When Speaking Internationally

September is International Speak Out Month. It reminded me of my International speaking experience and the important lessons I learned. Here are 7 tips to set you up for success when speaking internationally.

1.       Study the culture- Your presentation begins long before you step on a stage or begin to speak. How do people greet each other? In some European countries they kiss both cheeks. In Japan, the greeting is the bow. What is the tradition for gift giving? Are they a low context or high context culture? This will inform you about the level of formality that’s expected as well as how to treat authority.

2.       Meet the translator-Will you receive simultaneous translation or consecutive translation? If it’s the latter, you will need to pause after each sentence or two, while the interpreter translates. Where did the translator learn English? There’s a difference between British and American English. Be sure to define terms and explain your speech to the translator so that it is communicated with the right intent and clarity.

3.       Speak slowly-When you’re in a different country, YOU are the one with the accent. Even if it’s an English speaking audience they will probably need time to translate in their heads. Speaking slowly will allow the listeners time to process what you are saying.

4.       Manage body language-You can easily offend an audience before you even open your mouth. The same gesture can mean different things. The A-0k sign with the thumb and index finger touching with the 3 fingers extended is an obscenity in Brazil. Even the nod or shake of your head can have a different meaning. Practice with the gestures you’ll use in your speech with a native from the country where you’ll speak.

5.       Speak the Native Language-Nothing is more endearing and caring than to speak in the native tongue. When I spoke in Africa, I gave my greeting in Kiswahili-”Hello. I’m happy to be here” I was surprised when the audience broke into applause.

6.       Avoid humor-Humor rarely translates across cultures even if you’re a comedian.

7.       Learn their idioms- I leaned this the hard way when I was speaking to a British audience. I would use an innocuous term such as “on the job” and I would hear snickering. It meant something else in England. A sweater is called a jumper, gasoline is petrol, a truck is a lorry, a TV is a telly.

Mistakes will happen. But with a little research, planning and practice you can speak anywhere in the world and give knockout presentations.

My presentations, training , coaching and books are available virtually. It’s easy to find me to discuss your needs. Email diane@diresta.com. DM me at twitter @speakingpro. Or call: 917 803-8663

The Missing Link in Presentations

Are you wondering why your audience isn’t excited? Or why they’re not sold on your ideas at meetings? Most presenters work hard to craft and deliver their sales presentations. So why don’t they get the results they desire?

They know the content backwards and forwards. They reveal what they think is great about their ideas or products. There’s no question they can’t answer. These presenters bring their A game with dynamic delivery. On the surface, it’s a good presentation. Yet, there’s no momentum. Too often public speakers think from their own point of view. 

These presenters forgot to connect the head and heart!

Consider these two acronyms. WIIFM and WSIC.

The first step is to answer the question, What’s In It For Me, meaning the audience. What’s important to them? It doesn’t matter if you have the most clever idea or the best product unless it meets their needs. And that’s where most presenters stop. The challenge is that you’re addressing needs but not tapping into why. WSIC means Why Should I Care? This is the dream or outcome of receiving those benefits. We’re talking about emotions. There is motion in the word emotion. The audience will take action when your message taps into their emotions.

It’s about connecting what they’ll gain with the impact of the benefits.

Benefit  (Head)                       Impact (Heart)

Save time                                More family events

Save money                           Buy the vacation property

Lose weight                            Look good and fit into your new clothes

Everybody wants to save time, money and be healthy. But their reasons may vary. Recall the last time you were excited about a purchase. Was your excitement about the product or how it made you feel? We’re more easily convinced by emotion than by logic but we need both.

A friend told a story about his trip to the car dealership. He was interested in a sports car. He loved the car but it came with a high price tag. The sales person told him to sit behind the wheel. He then said, “It makes you feel cool, doesn’t it?” My friend bought the car. He tapped into his emotions.

By translating what they’ll learn from you to why it’s important to them, you’ll connect the head and heart. And that is the missing link.

 Anybody can give a Knockout Presentation. Avoid these 6 mistakes and take your presentation from dull to dynamic!

My presentations, training , coaching and books are available virtually. It’s easy to find me to discuss your needs. Email diane@diresta.com. Subscribe to my youtube channel Or call: 917 803-8663

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7 Tips to Present on the Witness Stand.

You’re going to court. The thought of going to court can stress anybody out. Add that you’re going to be on the witness stand, and the fear of public speaking gets triggered.

The outcome of a case can be strongly influenced by the testimony of the witnesses. So how do you present yourself credibly in court?

Keep these public speaking tips in mind before you take the stand:

1.       Practice out loud and record yourself. Your attorney will train you in being a witness and you’ll be a better presenter when you know your message points. Rehearsing at home will give you confidence.

2.       Look at the jury. If your eyes look up before you answer, you’ll appear less credible and knowledgeable. The audience is the jury so talk to one person at a time. Make an eye connection. Looking someone in the eye denotes trustworthiness.

3.       Reduce non-words. Fillers like /um/ /you know/ /like/ will cause you to sound unprepared. Don’t be afraid of silence. Confident presenters pause. You don’t have to answer immediately. Think before you speak.

4.       Check your appearance. Your attire communicates a message. A jury can be swayed by the way you look. Be sure clothes are pressed, shoes are polished and your clothing is appropriate for the case.

5.      Speak clearly and naturally. Take your time and pace yourself. Avoid mumbling and be conversational. You’ll be believable by being yourself.

6.       Know when to stop. If the judge or attorneys interrupt, stop speaking.

7.       Get to the point. You’ll lose the jury if you give too many details or go down a rabbit hole. Stay on topic. Answer the question that was asked. Be brief.

To hear tips on presenting in court, watch my interview.

My presentations, training , coaching and books are available virtually. It’s easy to find me to discuss your needs. Email diane@diresta.com. DM me at twitter @speakingpro. Or call: 917 803-8663

Here Come Da Judge: Succeeding in Virtual Court

You many have your day in court but it’s probably not going to be at a courthouse near you.   There’s a greater likelihood that you’ll be in virtual court and that requires a new set of skills.  The Honorable Gustavo A. Gelpí & Honorable Julie Kunce Field delivered a presentation entitled Holding Virtual Court: A Conversation with Two Judges.

During the conversation they shared insights about holding court during a pandemic, the advantages and disadvantages of virtual court, their expectations, and recommendations.

In discussing some of the challenges, they revealed that people may not be tech savvy. In order to mitigate this issue they recommended that anyone appearing in court should request a practice session with a court officer prior to their hearing. Another challenge is controlling noise and conversation and for that reason, the judges mute everybody. Acknowledging the limitations of body language on a virtual platform, they requested that participants display a waist shot for the camera when in their courtrooms.. And speaking of cameras, the judges preferred Webex over Zoom for security reasons. In open court, where anybody can sit in, each person observing was expected to identify themselves.

Their advice to lawyers was that the skills that work in a physical courtroom don’t translate to the virtual world. The flamboyant lawyers who bang on the desk, and continually interrupt, don’t fare well in this environment. Legal presentations must adapt to the virtual environment. Although remote communication was thrust upon all of us, the judges reported that in many cases virtual court was successful. Saving time was touted as one of the biggest benefits of virtual court especially for a lawyer who would have to travel for a couple of hours to attend a 15 minute meeting. The situation where virtual court was not appropriate was where a jury was required. But in non-jury court hearings, an expert can be easily brought in from any geographic region, saving travel time and costs.

Both judges predicted the future will be hybrid court for it’s convenience. Major trials will be held in person, but in other situations the virtual platform will be beneficial in settling legal cases.

Virtual court is not just for lawyers and judges. You never know when you’ll need to appear to challenge a summons or handle a landlord tenant dispute. The virtual world is not going away. Master virtual presentation skills and you’ll have a better chance of winning your case. To learn how to be a knockout virtual presenter, visit www.diresta.com

My presentations, training and coaching are available virtually. It’s easy to find me to discuss your needs. Email diane@diresta.com. DM me at twitter @speakingpro. Or call: 917 803-8663

Stop Saying Um in 6 Steps

Clients ask me all the time, “How do I get rid of my ums? Why do they care? We all use a few ums. I certainly do. But when you consistently say um and ah it can have negative effects.

I heard an Ivy League professor give a lecture online. It was an interesting topic except that he continually punctuated his talk with um. I lost interest.

Here’s the negative impact of using too many ums.

Loss of credibility. The audience expects a credentialed speaker to be effective.  Too many ums can make a seasoned speaker sound like an amateur.

Loss of attention. People will listen for just so long before they get bored and tune out.

Loss of message. If the audience checks out mentally, your message doesn’t get through. They lose information and you lose influence.

The good news is you can change all that. You’re not sentenced to a life of vocal tics. Here is a roadmap for eliminating ums.

Awareness. Why do people keep repeating the same habits and patterns? Because they lack self awareness. Change happens once people hear themselves. When I echo back a non-word or filler, clients will ask “Did I just say um?” They don’t hear it!!! Record yourself and tally the number of ums in your 1 to 3 minute talk. Now you have a baseline.

Negative practice. Next, choose a topic and deliberately say a lot of ums. Why? The natural inclination is to avoid saying um and that creates more hesitations, stops and starts, and nervousness. Don’t resist. Say as many ums as you can.

Look for patterns.  Identify the types of fillers or nonwords you use. Is it  um, ah, you know, okay like, basically? Some people start every sentence with um. If that’s you, cancel the sentence. Stop, count to three and say it again without an um. Do you say um right before a difficult word? If that’s your pattern, during your rehearsal, substitute a simpler word

Master the pause. Practice the same topic but this time, stop and pause. Why is so hard to pause? Most people are afraid of silence. When you finish a sentence come to a complete stop and don’t say anything. Allow for a silence. Exaggerate the silence. It takes practice to tolerate silence. Don’t speak until you can start the next sentence without saying um. Remember, the power is in the pause.

Rehearse. After working with thousands of presenters, I’ve seen a decrease in ums after rehearsals. The more you practice and the more you know your message, the more fluent you’ll become.

Accountability. Changing behavior requires continual practice and monitoring. Find an accountability partner or hire a coach. They can tally the number of ums during your meetings and presentations.  Instead of guessing you’ll have real time data.

Slipping up with an occasional filler or nonword in your presentations will barely be noticeable. But if your audience starts counting them, that’s an issue. Practice these 6 steps and you’ll be fluent in no time. For more tips, read Knockout Presentations.

My presentations, training and coaching are available virtually. It’s easy to find me to discuss your needs. Email diane@diresta.com.   DM me at twitter @speakingpro. Or call: 917 803-8663

Q&A: How to Face a Firing Squad without Being Shot

My clients often fear the Question and Answer session. They feel anxious and unprepared because they don’t know what will be asked. They know their content but don’t know how to organize it in the moment. For some public speakers a Q&A session is akin to facing a firing squad.

Recently, I saw a news clip of a politician being grilled by a reporter. It was obvious that the agenda was to make him look bad. The reporter cited a litany of complaints and asked why these issues were not resolved. The politician jumped in and proceeded to answer the question. The reporter interrupted him and accused him of not letting her finish. He responded with “You asked me Why. I’m answering your question.”

She cut him off and continued to highlight issues and shortcomings.

The politician interjected, “Are you asking a question or giving a speech?” (He knew her agenda was to highlight the negative). He finished by explaining that he delegated the process to the experts who were better equipped to make decisions for their industry than the government.

He never lost control because he practiced positive public speaking principles for handling difficult audiences.

1. He listened but didn’t let the questioner ramble. He cut in and began to answer. Another alternative to interrupting is to say “What is the question?”

2. When she continued to dominate the platform with a soliloquy he challenged her. When a questioner won’t get to the point, the moderator or speaker can say, “Please be brief.” Or summarize, “What I understand your question to be is… “ and then answer the question.

3. He gave a clear explanation without apology or emotion. He confidently held his ground. It’s not effective to get angry with a questioner.

   Not all questioners are hostile or have an underlying agenda. Some audience members simply have trouble getting to the point. So help them out and stay calm, cool, and collected.

   The Q&A session is a forum for you to underscore your points, clarify your message, and provide information to the audience.

   The next time you’re on the firing line use these tips to ricochet those heat seeking questions and emerge unsinged.

Communication and Public speaking is a vital component of executive presence. Diane DiResta coaches executives to be influential public speakers. Companies hire Diane to deliver keynote speeches, seminars and workshops to train their teams in effective communication and leadership skills. Contact Diane